本文目录一览：
- 1、英语短笑话带翻译
- 2、带翻译的英语笑话
- 3、简短的英语冷笑话带翻译
- 4、英语幽默笑话大全带翻译？
- 5、三分钟英语小故事带翻译（十篇）
- 6、10个英文笑话带中文翻译
- 7、简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
- 8、带翻译的英语小笑话
- 9、英语小笑话，越短越好，带翻译
- 10、英语笑话带翻译短一些
英语短笑话带翻译
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
英语短笑话带翻译篇1
Liar,Liar
骗子，骗子
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.
老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.
警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."
她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。”
The next-door neighbor protested,
隔壁邻居期提出反驳说：
"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."
“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”
The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"
老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”
英语短笑话带翻译篇2
A Henpecked Husband
怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"
这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说：
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.
我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”
英语短笑话带翻译篇3
向你的烦恼说再见
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
看了“英语短笑话带翻译”的人还看了：
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5. 关于超短英文笑话带翻译
带翻译的英语笑话
带翻译的英语笑话大全
你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里我为你收集整理了带翻译的英语笑话大全，希望能对你有所帮助哈!
带翻译的英语笑话【1】 The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。
猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。
半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的`蛛丝马迹。
Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。
哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?
带翻译的英语笑话【2】 The lowest grade 最低分
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
学生：“教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师：“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!”
带翻译的英语笑话【3】 Wait for your salary 你等着发工资吧
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...
wait for your salary.
如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。
如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……
等着发工资吧!
带翻译的英语笑话【4】 As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "
A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”
这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!”
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简短的英语冷笑话带翻译
简短的英语冷笑话带翻译
导语：笑话话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。我整理了短一些英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
短一些英语笑话带翻译篇一 before the final examination, tom told his mother, "mom, i had a dream last night that i'd passed today's exam."
在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”
"don't trust dreams, dear. it is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." mother replied.
“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。
"then i do hope i'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," tom said.
“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。
短一些英语笑话带翻译篇二 mother asked her little boy, darling, what did the teacher teach you today?
母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?
nothing, mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and i told her three.
儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。
短一些英语笑话带翻译篇三 reggie: we have got a new dog. would you like to come around and play with him?
里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗?
ron: well, i don't know---does he bite?
罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗?
reggie: that's what i want to find out.
里基：这正是我想要查明的。
短一些英语笑话带翻译篇四 one day after school the teacher said to his students, "tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, i will permit him or her to go home earlier."
一天，放学以后，老师对他的.学生们说：“明天上午，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，我就准许他或她最先回家。”
the next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed(涂抹) . he was very angry and asked, "who did it? please stand up!" "it's me," said bob, "now, i can go home. good-bye, sir."
第二天，老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，他非常生气的问：“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说：“先生，是我，现在我可以回家了，再见!”
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英语幽默笑话大全带翻译？
笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。下面是我带来的英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默笑话带翻译精选
***一***
他的得数只比正确答案多二
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren't always *** art enought to be accepted by the college. One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I'd better ask him a few questions first." Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers. At last the dean said, "Well, what's five times seven?" The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six." The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。 有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。” 然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。 最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少?” 学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。” 院长摊开双手失望地看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
***二***
基本原则
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau wasknown of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at yourwatches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make surethey're still running."
位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说：“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无生趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”
英语幽默笑话带翻译阅读
***一***
A Life for a Life
以“命”抵命
The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food hebecame very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, hegot well again.
英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过著贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过著朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。
After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn'tanymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. Butstill no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe endhe came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you oweyour life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”
“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungratefulfor your work I will givemy life to you.”
“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”
With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.
说著这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。
***二***
区别
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in oneof my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say,'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate studentsjust write it down."
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”
英语幽默笑话带翻译学习
***一***
抄袭
A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell aboutthe time he spotted a plagiarized term paper. He summoned the student to his office. "This isn'tyour work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia. "You cann'tprove that!" the student sputtered. My friend amiled and show him the paper. Circled in redwas: "Also see article on muni *** ."
我有个朋友在圣路易斯的华盛顿大学教欧洲历史，他说有一次他发现了一篇抄袭的学期论文。他把那个学生叫到了办公室。“这不是你写的，”他说，“有人帮你从百科全书上原封不动地列印了下来。” “你没有证据。”那学生气急败坏地说。 我朋友笑了，他把论文拿给他看。用红笔圈出来的是：“也可参阅共产主义一文。”
***二***
Get Ready!
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop." Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。” 两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
三分钟英语小故事带翻译（十篇）
【 #能力训练# 导语】大多数小朋友都喜欢听故事，如果是英语故事的话，可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。下面是 分享的三分钟英语小故事带翻译（十篇）。欢迎阅读参考！
1.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇一
a man was going to the house of some rich person. as he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. he said, "i do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
he went on and came to a river. the river had become very big; so he could not go over it. he waited for some time; then he said, "i cannot go to the rich man‘s house today, for i cannot get over the river."
he began to go home. he had eaten no food that day. he began to want food. he came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
翻译
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”
他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。
不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
2.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇二
The bulging belly fox
A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, “Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you’ll get out then easily enough.”
胀肚的狐狸
饥饿的狐狸在一棵中空的树干中发现了一些牧羊人存留的面包和肉。高兴之余，他立即通过那狭窄的缝隙挤进去，贪婪的大吃起来。然而，当他吃饱之后，却发现自己的肚子胀鼓鼓的，即便费了九牛二虎之力，却怎么也钻不出那个洞来，便在树洞里唉声叹气。另一只狐狸恰巧经过那里，听到他的呻 吟，便过去问他原因。听明白缘由后，那只狐狸便说道：“我的朋友，你就老老实实待在里边吧，等到恢复了钻进去之前的身材，你就能轻松地出来了。”
3.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇三
Long ago a great mountain began to rumble and shake.
People came from far and near to see what would happen.
"A great river will be born." said one.
"Surely nothing less than a mighty dragon will e out." said another.
"A god himself will spring form these rocks." said a third.
Finally,after days of expectation a small crack appeared in the mountain. And out popped-a mouse.
Just because someone makes a lot of fuss， it doesn't mean he is important.
很久以前，一座大山隆隆作响，摇晃起来。远近各处的人都来看是怎样回事。
一个人说："要出现一条大河了。"
另一个人说："准会出现一条巨龙。"
第三个人说："从这些岩石中会出现一尊神来。"
等了几天之后，山坡上最终裂开一条小缝，却蹦出来一只耗子。
正因为某人大肆张扬，所以他没有什么了不起。
4.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇四
Jack is a little goose. He has a lovely hat. He likes wearing it very much. But when he sits, his hat can’t stay on his head.
杰克是一只小鹅。它有一顶可爱的帽子，他非常喜欢戴它。当它坐着时，他的帽子总是戴着头上。
He puts his hat down and begins to play game with the hat. When he gets tired of the game, things are not the same.
它脱下它的帽子并开始用帽子玩游戏。当它玩累时，事情就不是那样了。
He can’t find his hat. Where is it? Jack thinks hard. He looks up and down, and walks here and there. He can’t find his hat yet.
它没有找到他的帽子。它在哪里?杰克仔细想。它上下看了看，到处找了找，还是没有找到它的帽子。
At this time, his mother comes in. As soon as she sees Jack, she cries, “Oh, my dear! Don’t be foolish. Your hat is on your head.”
这时，它的母亲走进来，当她看到杰克就喊道：“啊!亲爱的，你真笨，帽子在你的头上。”
Jack feels very foolish. He doesn’t want to wear his hat on his head.
杰克感到自己很愚蠢。它不想戴那顶帽子了。
5.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇五
There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head.
It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns.
If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull.
As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly.
一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇六
Long ago,there was a big cat in the house. He caught many mice while they were stealingfood.
One day the mice had a meetingto talk about the way to deal with their common enemy. Some said this,, andsome said that.
At last a young mouse gotup, and said that he had a good idea.
"We could tie a bellaround the neck of the cat. Then when he comes near, we can hear the sound ofthe bell, and run away."
Everyone approved of thisproposal, but an old wise mouse got up and said, "That is all very well,but who will tie the bell to the cat?" The mice looked at each other, butnobody spoke.
从前，一所房子里面有一只大猫，他抓住了很多偷东西的老鼠。
一天，老鼠在一起开会商量如何对付他们奇特的敌人。会上大家各有各的主张，最后，一只小老鼠站出来说他有一个好主意。
“咱们可能在猫的脖子上绑一个铃铛，那么如果他来到附近，咱们听到铃声就能够立即逃跑。”
大家都同意这个倡导，这时一只聪明的老耗子站出来说：“这确切是个绝妙的主意，然而谁来给猫的脖子上绑铃铛呢?”老鼠们面面相觑，谁也不谈话。
寓意：有些事件说起来容易，做起来却很难。
7.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇七
the hare was once boasting of his speed before the other animals. "i have never been beaten," he said, "when i run at full speed, no one is faster than me." the tortoise said quietly, "i will race with you." "that is a good joke," said the hare. "i could dance around you the whole way."the race started. the hare darted almost out of sight at once. he soon stopped and lay down to have a nap.the tortoise plodded on and on. when the hare awoke from his nap, he saw the tortoise was near the finish line, and that he had lost the race.
moral: pride goes before a fall. only by persevering can we achieve our goals.
兔子有一次在其他动物面前夸耀他的速度。“我从来没有被打败过，”他说，“当我全速奔跑时，没有人比我更快。”乌龟平静地说:“我要和你比赛。”“这是个好笑话。”兔子说。“我可以一直围着你跳舞。”比赛开始。那只野兔几乎立刻跑得看不见了。他很快停下来，躺下来打了个盹。乌龟慢吞吞地走啊走。当兔子从午睡中醒来时，他看到乌龟已经快到终点线了，他输了比赛。
寓意: 骄兵必败;只有持之以恒，才能实现目标。
8.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇八
A mouse once took a bite out of a bull's tail as he lay dozing。 The bull jumped up in a rage and， with his head low to the ground， chased the mouse right across the yard。 The mouse was too quick for him， however， and slipped easily into a hole in the wall。
The bull charged the wall furiously again and again， but although he bruised his head and chipped his horns， the mouse stayed safely inside his hole。 After a time the bull gave up and sank down to rest again。
As soon as the bull was asleep， the little mouse crept to the mouth of the hole， pattered across the yard， bit the bull again -- this time on the nose -- and rushed back to safety。 As the bull roared helplessly the mouse squeaked:
"It's not always the big people who e off best。 Sometimes the small ones win， you know。"
老鼠和公牛
有一次，公牛躺着打盹，一只老鼠咬了他的尾巴。公牛怒气冲冲地跳起来，低着头追老鼠，一向追过院子。然而，老鼠跑得比他快多了，从容地钻到墙洞里去了。
公牛一次又一次地猛撞墙壁，尽管头撞肿了，角撞裂了，老鼠却安然待在洞里。过了一会儿，公牛不撞了，倒下歇着。
公牛刚睡着，小老鼠就爬到洞口，嗒嗒地跑过院子，又咬了公牛一口??这回咬了鼻子??又跑回安全的地方去。当公牛毫无办法地吼叫时，老鼠吱吱叫道：
"大人物并不总占上风。有时小人物也会取胜。"
9.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇九
Once upon a time, the animals living on the ground and those flying in the sky fought against each other. However, a bat could not take part on either side because he was timid and had no courage. When the beasts seemed like winning, the bat went to them and said, "I would like to fight with you." They believed him.
Yet, the bat began to worry, as the birds started to move ahead. So, the bat went to them and begged, "I am on your side because I am winged, too."
They pleasantly accepted the bat. "Sure. Since you have wings, you are on our side." The fight between the birds and the beasts continued and the bat went back and forth to the winning side.
Then one day, peace was made in the woods. The birds and the beasts learned that the bat went hither and thither between them. All the animals determined to expel him. Turned away from both sides, the bat started to live in a dark cave.
从前，地上的动物和天上的动物经常打架。然而，蝙蝠无法参加任何一方的队伍，因为他很胆小，缺乏勇气。 当野兽快要胜利的时候，蝙蝠赶过去说：“我要跟你并肩战斗。”他们相信了蝙蝠。
然而，鸟儿们占上风的时候，蝙蝠又开始担心。于是，蝙蝠转而投靠他们恳求道：“我是你们这边，你们看我也有翅膀。”
他们愉快地接受了蝙蝠。“当然。既然你有翅膀，你就是我们的战友。”鸟儿与野兽的打斗仍然没有停止，蝙蝠来来回回地投靠每次胜利的一方。
一天，树林里终于迎来了和平。鸟和野兽得知蝙蝠在他们中间来回地欺骗。所有的动物都同意驱逐他。两方的队伍都不欢迎他，于是，蝙蝠开始在黑暗的洞穴里生活。
10.三分钟英语小故事带翻译 篇十
Once there were three foxes, they worked together. They lived a happy life.
Little by little, the youngest fox became lazy, and often quarreled with the other foxes. The eldest had to leave, and the second fox was driven off, too.
Looking at the warm house with a lot of good food in it, the youngest fox smiled.
The eldest fox opened a new hill again.
The second eldest fox dug a pool. Two of them because rich soon.
The youngest fox ate up the food left by the other two foxes. In the end it felt so cold and hungry that it could not stand up.
从前有三只狐狸，他们愉快地工作和居住在一起。
最小的狐狸又懒又坏，经常同其他的两只狐狸争吵，气走了它的大哥和二哥。
最小的狐狸得意地住在温暖的房子里享受着丰富的食品。
老大重新开了一块小山坡种地。
老二挖了池塘，不久他们过上了富裕的生活。
最小的狐狸吃完了那些狐狸留下的所有食物，最后又冷又饿连站也站不起来。
10个英文笑话带中文翻译
随着不断的发展，各个国家的关系不断加强，英语对每个人的生活来说就显得非常重要了，而英语的学习方法是我们不断地寻找和追求的，那么今天我们不妨通过一些小笑话来学习英语吧！1.Abitofadviceforthoseabouttoretire.Ifyouareonly65,nevermovetoaretirementcommunity.Everybodyelseisintheir70s,80s,or90s.Sowhensomethinghastobemoved,liftedorloaded,theyyell,Getthekid.这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”2.MotherFreddie,whyisyourfacesoredFreddieIwasrunningupthestreettostopafight.MotherThatsaverynicethingtodo.WhowasfightingFreddieMeandJackieSmith.妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。3.Adistinguishedclergymanandtheeldersfromhiscongregationattendedanout-of-townmeetingthatdidnotfinishuntilratherlate.Theydecidedtohavesomethingtoeatbeforegointhome,butunfortunatelytheonlyspotopenwasaseedybar-and-grillwithaquestionablereputation.Afterbeingserved,oneoftheeldersaskedtheclergymantosaygrace.Idrathernot,,theclergymansaid,IdontwantHimtoknowImhere.一位著名牧师和他教区的几位老人出席城外会议直到天黑才开完会，他们打算在回家前吃点东西。但很不巧只有一家名声不好的下等酒吧烤菜馆开着门。饭后，一位老人要牧师祈祷。“我想我是免了，”牧师说。“我不想让主知道我在这里。”4.TomWilliamhasaskedmeforaloanoffivepounds.ShouldIbedoingrightinlendingittohimJackCertainly.TomAndwhyJackBecauseotherwisehewouldtrytoborrowitfromme.汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？杰克：当然应该了。汤姆：为什么？杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。5.Iwasaccompanyingmyhusbandonabusinesstrip.Hecarriedhisportablecomputerwithhim,andtheguardattheairportgateaskedhimtoopenthecase.Itwaslocked,andthemanwaitedpatientlyasmyembarrassedspousestruggledtorememberthecombination.Atlasthesucceeded.WhyareyousonervousIaskedhim.Thenumbersarethedateofouranniversary.myusbandconfessed.我陪丈夫一起出差，他带着他的手提式计算机。机场出口处检查员要他打开包。他耐心的等着我那窘迫的丈夫设法回想起暗锁的密码。最后他终于想起来了。“你为什么那么紧张呢？”我问他。“这密码是我们结婚纪念日。”他承认道6.Anoldladywhowasverydeafandwhothoughteverythingtoodear,wentintoashopandaskedtheshopmanHowmuchthisstuffSevendollars,Madam,itisverycheap.Theladysaid,Itistoomuch,giveittomeforfourteen.Ididnotsayseventeendollars,butseven.Itisstilltoomuch,repliedtheoldlady,giveittomeforfive.一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”7.MotherWhyareyoujumpingupanddownTomIvejusttakensomemedicineandIforgottoshakethebottle.妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了8.OneeveningIdrovemyhusbandscartotheshoppingmall.Onmyreturn,Inoticedthathowdustytheoutsideofhiscarwasandcleaneditupabit.WhenIfinallyenteredthehouse,Icalledout.Thewomanwholovesyouthemostintheworldjustcleanedyourheadlightsandwindshield.Myhusbandlookedupandsaid,Momshere一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”9.Mr.JohnsonAreyouusingyoumowerthisafternoonMr.SmithYes.Mr.JohnsonFine.ThencanIborrowyourtennisracket,sinceyouwontbeneedingit约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？史密斯先生：是的。约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗？10.Marywassodisgustedatherhusbandscigarettesmokingthatshecomplainedtohimoneday.Ihopethatallthecigarettefactorieswillcatchfiresomeday.Dontworry,dear.Allthecigaretteswillbeonfiresoonerorlater.Hesaidwithasmile.玛丽非常讨厌丈夫吸烟，一天对他抱怨说：“我希望有一天所有卷烟厂都失火。”“不用担心，亲爱的，所有的烟卷迟早都会点着的。”他笑着说。
简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
1.Warning Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?" I teased.
"Are you kidding?" he replied, "Why else would I have bothered to clean?"
提醒
我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧?”我取笑他。 “开什么玩笑?“，他回答说，“要不我凭什么费神打扫?”
2.Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
3."A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。 他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快？”"
带翻译的英语小笑话
带翻译的英语小笑话两则
英语小笑话：孩子与母亲
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
一个孩子好奇的问妈妈：“妈咪，为什么你的头发有的变灰白了?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
妈妈想利用这个机会好好教育教育她的孩子：“因为你啊，宝贝。每次你不听话，我就会有一根头发变灰白的。”
The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”
孩子天真的回答：“现在我知道为什么外祖母头上只有灰白的头发了。”
The Effectiveness of Advertisement
广告的`效力
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view.
一群商人正热烈地讨论在电视上做广告。他们中没有人做过，所以每个人都有自己的想法。
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.
此时，格雷先生进来了。格雷是一个汽车经销商，他曾经做过一次广告。
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.
“你们在讨论什么?”格雷先生问。
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.
“广告有用不?”其中一位商人问。
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
“噢，有用，而且见效非常快。”格雷先生说，“我曾经发布了一条广告，要招聘一个值班员，报酬是100美金。”
"Did you get the dog back?"
“你招聘到人了吗?”
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
“没，但是那个晚上我的三辆车被偷走了。”
【注释】
笑话中出现了come by这个词组，我们来学习一下它的两种意思：
1. pay a visit 来访，拜访
例：I'll come by after work and see if you need any help. 我下班后会再来拜访，看看你有什么需要帮忙的地方。
2. acquire 获得，得到
例：A good assistant is hard to come by. 要得到一个好助手很困难。
Comment: 保安没招来，倒把贼招来了!所以说有钱这件事还是不要“广而告之”为好……
;
英语小笑话，越短越好，带翻译
hey Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
汉译：
真美钞
一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个
可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
1、Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
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谁有短小精悍的英语故事或者英语笑话（带翻译）很急
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。EditSprings可提供专业、优质的学术文章中译英服务。您的文章将由精通中英双语、学术背景深厚、投稿经验丰富的外籍华人PHD和同行资深编辑精心翻译，由质量控制团队严格把关，确保翻译后的文章符合您的原意，并且又经母语同行专家进行母语化论文润色服务，用地道的英文呈现，帮助您跨越语言难关。
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简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
1、Boy:?Is?this?seat?empty??Girl:?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：这个座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。?? 2、Boy:?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink??Girl:?Actually?I'd?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？?女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。? 3、My?little?dog?can't?read?Mrs.?Brown:?Oh,?my?dear,?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog!?Mrs.?Smith:?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers!??Mrs.?Brown:?It's?no?use,?my?little?dog?can't?read.? 我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦，?亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！?史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！?布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4、My?Wife?Will?Exchange?Them。A?gentleman?walks?into?a?store?and?asked?for?a?pair?of?gloves.???″Cloth?or?leather﹖″?asked?the?salesperson.??″Makes?no?difference?″replied?customer.???″What?color﹖″?asked?the?clerk.??″Any″?he?responded.? ″Size﹖″?″Give?me?whatever?you?prefer″?the?gentleman?said?slightly?exasperated.?″My?wife?will?be?back?tomorrow?to?exchange?them.″? 反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。?“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。?“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。?“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。?“号码呢？”?“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”? 5、A??physics?Examination，Once?in?a?physics?examination,?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon,?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was:?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first,?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls???? Nick‘s?answer:?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.??? 一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。?? 6、Jim’s?History?Examination。Uncle:?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother:?Oh,?not?at?all?well,?but?there,?it?wasn't?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.??? 吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。? 7、he?is?really?somebody。--?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?--?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do?--?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.??? 他真是一个大人物。--?我叔叔下面有1000个人。--?他真是一个大人物。干什么的？--?墓地守墓人。 扩展资料： 笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。 人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。 同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。 参考资料：百度百科：笑话
1,Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
1、Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了
Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
杰克：当然应该了。
汤姆：为什么？
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
1、Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
英语笑话带翻译短一些
1. 英语笑话
英语笑话 【急！求英语笑话带翻译的,三到五分钟,两个人对话的,初二水平,
1、周而复始老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨，为什么不去上山砍柴？” 老王说：“砍柴干什么？” 老李说：“好卖钱啊.卖到钱就可以买驴，再沿家挨户卖柴.挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器，再买更多的卡车，那样就可以发大财了.” 老王问：“发了财干什么？” 老李答：“发了财就可 以逍遥自在地享清福嘛.” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么？”1,round and roundLao wang rested under the tree,Lao li came up and said,"hey,why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said:"cut wood stem what?" Lao li said:"good money!Sold into money can buy a donkey,then along home door-to-door selling wood.Zheng money will buy trucks,and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware,buy more trucks,so that you can be really rich." The old king:"fortune"?Lao li answer:"fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said,"that you think I doing now?"2、甲鱼风波甲鱼又叫团鱼或鳖，俗称王八.味鲜美，价昂贵.“吃的不买，买的不吃”，实乃高级礼品，公关丑 星.某乡派数人携众鳖入城进贡.因其重量不同，又须按“职”分配，为免差错计，故将官 号写于纸上，贴于鳖背.……至机关干部住宅楼前，天已晚.不料竹篓倾覆，众甲鱼乘暮色争相逃命，乡人一片 惊呼：“赵局长”跑啦！——那个块头最大的.快抓住“钱处长”——小心它咬手.那墙角里黑乎乎的，莫非是“孙科长”？“李秘书”个头小，爬得快，怕是找不到了.2,turtle stormTurtle and call TuanYu or turtle,monly known as the tortoise.Taste delicious,the price is expensive."Eat not to buy,buy the do not eat",solid senior ts,pr ugly stars.MouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tribute.Because of its different weights,and must according to "responsibility" distribution,in order to avoid mistakes plan,therefore,JiangGuan written in paper,stick at turtle's back。
.To government cadres residential against the building,it is late.Behold,all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life,XiangRen a exclaimed,"zhao chief" run!The bigger the biggest.- Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the hand.The corner of the mariposa rushed,murphy is "Samson section chief"?"Secretary li"'s *** aller,climb quickly,afraid that I can't find it.3、迟了在地铁里，一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包，便幽默地说：“老兄，你来晚了！我今天虽然领 了薪水，但我太太下手比你快 多了！”3,lateIn the subway,a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet,and humorously said:"man,you came to night!I today although took salary,but my wife lay more quickly than you!"4、情书小伙子在给女朋友的信中写到：“爱你爱得如此之深，以至愿为你赴汤蹈火.星期六如不下雨，我一定来.4,love letterGuy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote:"love your love so much,that would like to give you go through hell.On Saturday as it does not rain,I'll e.5、无理抱怨两个人一起吃饭，只有两条鱼，一大一小.一位先把大 的吃了，另一位勃然大怒.”多不合适！”他抱怨说.”怎 么了？”另一位问.”你吃掉了那条大的，如果我是你就不 会这样做.””你会怎 样呢？””我当然是先吃小的.”” 那好哇，你抱怨什么，那条小鱼不是还在那里吗！”5 and irrational plainTwo people eat together,only two fish,a great and a *** all.A first big eat,another flew into a rage."Not more suitable!" He plains."How yao?" Another asked."You ate that big,if I were you,I would not do so." "How would you like?" "Of course I is first eat *** all." "That good,you plained,the fish is still there!"6、为您保密甲：”这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密." 乙：”放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密.”6,for your confidentialA:"this matter I just tell you one person,you must the secret for me." B:"trust,not only I want secret for you,I will tell everybody to be secret for you."7、擦玻璃父亲走进儿子的房间，夸奖道：干得好，儿子！窗户又干净又明亮，你是用肥皂水擦的吗？儿子：没有，爸爸，我用的是锤子.7,wipe glassFather entered the son's room,praise,way:well done,son!The window and clean and bright,you are using soap water wipe?Son:no,dad,I am using a sledgehammer.8、开学小学开学了，刚满6岁的冬冬不肯到学校上学.妈妈向冬冬解释，小朋友满6岁就要去上学，一直到15岁.最后冬冬终于在书桌前坐下来，满含热泪地问：等我15岁的时候，您会记得来接我吗？8,openingElementary school begins,just over 6 years old of winter winter will not e to school.Mother to dongdong explanation,children with 6 years old shall go to school,until 15 years old.Last winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask:when I was 15,you will remember pick me up?。
英语小笑话带翻译15至25字
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一个老美看到就笑我说， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 缩写正好是 Adidas） " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快， 联想力这么丰富时，旁边的 一个老美帮我解围， 他说， 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn， 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔！ 下次就换你去取笑老美了 这些够吗？ 求你了给分吧。
英语笑话100篇+翻译
yyxh/
这里的英语笑话都有译文！
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, *** iling indulgently.
"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
英语笑话【短】
1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt a passionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun *** iling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。
一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。
最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”
2. Difference"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。
研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3.Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long." 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。
她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。
每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4.Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services." Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter." The $1.50 was returned without delay.面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。
帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。
但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。
餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”
那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。5. Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。
他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。
他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” 英文谚语大全 cqwlzx/Article/ShowArticle?ArticleID=275 Each bird loves to hear himself sing. 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。
Each day brings its own bread. 天无绝人之路。Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命运掌握在自己手中。
Eagles catch no flies. 大人物不计较小事情。Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together. 鹰单飞，羊群集。
Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。Early sow, early mow. 播种早的收获早。
Early start makes easy stages. 早开始是成功的保证。Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。
英文短笑话 最简单的 要短的 四年级
There is a family, is very rich. One day, his son to go to school, mother asked her son, go out alone in our family was very rich, his son to keep in
Heart. The Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to write an article about the family. Son: my family is poor. My mother is very poor, very poor, dad was very poor, my servant is poor, the gardener is poor, the driver is very poor, very poor。
有一户人家，很有钱。一天，儿子要去上学，妈妈叫 儿子，出去后别说咱们家很有钱，儿子牢记在
心。语文课上，老师叫同学们写一篇关于家庭的作文。 儿子写：我家很穷。我很穷，妈妈很穷，爸爸很穷，我家的仆人很穷，园丁很穷，司机很穷，保姆很穷。。
