本文目录一览：
- 1、5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
- 2、关于简短易懂的英语小笑话
- 3、5个英语小笑话!要中文!越短越好!
- 4、简短的英语小笑话精选
- 5、有哪些英语小笑话？给我来十个（越短越好）
- 6、英语小笑话很短的
- 7、简单的英语小笑话有哪些？
- 8、简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
- 9、英语简单易懂笑话带翻译
- 10、五个英语小笑话
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”
店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”
4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
关于简短易懂的英语小笑话
笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是我精心收集的关于简短易懂的英语小笑话，希望大家喜欢!
关于简短易懂的英语小笑话篇一 a film crew was on location deep in the desert. one day an old indian went up to the director and said, "it will rain tomorrow." the next day it rained.
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处进行拍摄。一天，一个印度老人来到导演面前对他说：“明天会下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。
a week later, the indian went up to the director again and said, "there will be a storm tomorrow." the next day there was a storm.
一周以后，印度人又来了，他告诉导演说：“明天会有暴风雨。”果然，第二天有暴风雨。
"this indian is incredible," said the director. he told his secretary to hire the indian to predict the weather.
“这个印度人真神，”导演说。他告诉他的秘书去雇佣这个印度人来预测天气。
however, after several successful predictions, the old indian didn't show up for two weeks.
然而，几次预测天气成功之后，这个印度人连续两周没有露面。
finally the director sent for him. "i have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said the director. "and i'm depending on you. what will the weather be like?"
最后，导演派人把这个印度人请来了。导演对他说：“我明天必须拍摄一个很重要的场景，全都指望你了，明天天气如何啊?”
the indian shrugged his shoulders. "i don't know," he said. "my radio is broken."
这个印度人耸了耸肩说道：“我不知道，我的收音机坏了。”
关于简短易懂的英语小笑话篇二 one day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. a dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。
he stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。
"you there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "can't you act like a gentleman?"
“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”
"listen," he said. "i have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. from now on, i am acting like a lady."
“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”
关于简短易懂的英语小笑话篇三 a man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. a woman is driving down the same road. as they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "pig!!" the man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "witch(女巫)!!" they each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. if only men would listen.
译文1：一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
5个英语小笑话!要中文!越短越好!
1）The poor husband可怜的丈夫
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. “你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
2）I Wasn't Asleep我没有睡着
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!” "I wasn't asleep," the man answered.“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。 "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
3）Who's More Polite?谁更有礼貌? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
4） 太黑了 看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
5）幸运的话
Q:Do you think I’ll lose my looks as I get older?A:Yes if you’re lucky.问：你觉得我老的时候会失去现在的容貌吗？答：如果你幸运的话，可以的。
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
简短的英语小笑话精选
笑话从另一个角度反映着人们对于各种现象的态度,笑话是民族幽默的集中体现方式之一。下面是我带来的简短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
简短的英语小笑话精选
(一)
make your own bed
Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you'll have to make your own bed.
Traveling salesman: That's perfectly all right.
Farmer: Here's a hammer and saw. Good night.
(二)
给父亲账单
Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor: ″I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.″
Patient: ″then send the bill to my father,please.″
给父亲账单
医生:“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。”
病人:“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。”
简短的英语小笑话阅读
(一)
Excited Remarks
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
激动的话
我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。
一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。
(二)
A simple sense
Once upon a time, there were two hungry people got a gift: a senior and a basket fresh fishing huge fish. Among them, a person to a basket fish, another a rod, so they parted. Get the in situ fish sticks who build up a fish, and cook bonfires, yet he tasted the fish meat, fish soup, even in he ate, and soon, he starved to death in the empty fish basket. Another person is carrying rod to starve, step by step, hard to the edge, but when he has not seen the blue sea, he was the last bit of strength and make out, he can only with endless regret looking salto earth.
And two hunger, they also received a gift elders and a basket fishing rod. But they did not each rush thing, but agreed together to find the sea, they only cook fish, they pass distant journey, came to the sea, and they began a fishing day, after a few years, they built a house, with their families, children, had built a boat, the well-being of life.
A person only, get the immediate benefits will be short, One goal, but also to face the reality of life. Only the ideal and the reality, to combine may become a successful man. Sometimes, a simple, but enough to give people a meaningful life.
关于简短的英语小笑话
(一)
BlackBerry or iPhone
BlackBerry has just unveiled its new model handset, the Bold, in an effort to match the competition of Apple's
iPhone. The latter's intuitive touch-sensitive screen has been a big selling point, but critics say the BlackBerry's
keyboard makes it more user-friendly, especially for email. Which gadget tops your wishlist?
(二)
A Half-price Ticket
半价票
"How much is the movie ticket?"
“电影票多少钱一张?”
"Ten dollars, kid."
“10美元，孩子。”
"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."
“我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”
有哪些英语小笑话？给我来十个（越短越好）
1.What's the best day to eat fried fish and chips?那一天是最好的日子去吃炸鱼和薯片？
Fry-Day (近似"friday")
2.What's the best month to eat toast?那一个月是最好的月份去吃土司？
Jam-uary(jam意为果酱，而jam-uary又近似january一月，所以答案为一月）
3.What do you get if you eat too much dessert?当你吃太多的点心时你会得什么？
A stomach-cake(本题答案想表达的是肚子痛，此答案和肚子痛stomach-ache相近）
4.Monster school pupil: What are we cooking for lunch today?
怪物学院学生：今天的午饭要煮什么？
Monster school teacher: Shut up and go to the stove.
怪物学院老师：闭嘴并去到撸子里。
4. What's worse than finding a slug in your salad?有什麼比找到鼻涕虫塞在你的沙拉？
A half slug.半个鼻涕虫。
5.“waiter,waiter.There are some worms on my plate".服务员，服务员，我的盘子里有一些虫子！
"I didn't see any worms.Those are your sausages.我并没有看到什么虫子,那些是你的香肠。
6.Why did the man stare at the carton of orange juice？为什麼男人盯著橙汁纸箱？
Because it said 'concentrate'.因为它说：“集中”。
7.Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了
8.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
9.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
10.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A:what is your name? 你叫啥名？
B:Hu胡（谐音:谁）
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who?谁？
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You!你！
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊
B:Hu!胡！
A:You! What is your name!? 你！你叫啥名？！
B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡
A:O~哦
三 Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
二 Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.
When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"
"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.
On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.
Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
情人节前一天，一个女人做了个项链的梦。
当她醒来，她和她丈夫说：“我刚梦到你情人节给了我一根珍珠项链。你说那是什么含义呢？”。
“到情人节那天你就会知道了。”他笑着说。
情人节那天，男人给了他老婆一个礼盒。
她很兴奋地打开，看到的却是一本书，书名是《梦的解析》。
1、英语笑话（一）??
老师在黑板上写了一句：Time?is?money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”???
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老师说：Go?ahead.??
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老师说：Go?ahead.??
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？???
小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！???
2、英语笑话（二）??
某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I?am?hong tao?liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！???
3、英语笑话（三）??
江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss?Jiang,?you?are?very?beautiful."?翻译照翻，江青心花怒?放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。??
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where??Where?"?外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere,?everywhere."??
翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You?are?not?allowed?to?see,?you?are?not?allowed?to?see."??
4、英语笑话（四）???
话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大?拇指道：「I?AM后羿！」??
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I?AM丘比特！」??
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！?结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」???
5、英语笑话（五）??
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，?忙说：I?am?sorry.???
老外应道：I?am?sorry?too.???
某人听后又道：I?am?sorry?three.???
老外不解，问：What?are?you?sorry?for????
某人无奈，道：I?am?sorry?five.?
6、英语笑话（六）??
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOyOTA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：?“oh，NISSAN！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”??
后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How?Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”??
日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计?程表）！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”?
7、英语笑话（七）??
传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了?地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。?精彩继续教皇：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了（Virgin?Maria）.?克林顿（坏笑中）：Sorry，it"s?too?late.?
8、英语笑话（八）?
小强去看电影，到了电影售票处，发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天，就自告奋勇的上前做翻译，售票小姐说：麻烦你告诉她，现在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站着看。??
小强转头就对老外说：no?sit?see,?stand?see.?if?see?stand?see.?
老外回答说:Sorry?I?don’t?understand?your?English.??
小强就对售票小姐说：哦，他说他不懂英文....
踩了一个老外的脚，为了显示咱国家是有名的礼仪之邦，就先SORRY啦，老外更是礼貌有加，就来个sorry?too.?
two??the?chinese?puzzled.恩，咱中国人还不是得礼尚往来？！~那就I?am?sorry?three~???这下老外蒙了，一句what?are?you?sorry?for??
晕，还有完没完啊，还FOUR？！~哼，偶跟你卯上了，Iam?sorry?five~(who怕?who？！~）?
9、英语笑话（九）?
我朋友在南大看到一非洲老外：“hello，你妈是猴儿。”老外用纯正的天津话说：“你妈是大猩猩！”?
10、英语笑话（十）?
"Are?we?poisonous?"?the?young?snake?asked?his?mother.??"Yes,?dear,"?she?replied?-?"Why?do?you?ask?"??"Cause?I've?just?bitten?my tongue!?"?????????????????????
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”??“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
英语小笑话很短的
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了很短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
很短的英语小笑话篇一 He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
很短的英语小笑话篇二 Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
很短的英语小笑话篇三 The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
很短的英语小笑话篇四 Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
简单的英语小笑话有哪些？
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, i told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. he then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。
When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "can you imagine, " she said. "seventy dollars and i had to kiss him too!
医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他！”
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。
笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。
2008年6月7日，笑话经国务院批准列入第二批国家级非物质文化遗产名录。
我这有几个英语小笑话： 校园幽默四则
1.
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
2.
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
3.
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
4.
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
简单的英语小笑话(带翻译）
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
英语小笑话分享：What is the longest word in the English language?-Smiles. Because there is a mile between its first and last letters.-英语里最长的单词是？-Smiles（微笑，复数形式），因为首尾字母之间隔了一英里那么长。【免费领取，外教一对一精品课程】，点击蓝字注册免费欧美外教课一节，手把手带你玩转英语小知识！阿卡索外教100%拥有TESOL等资格证书，口音地道，具有丰富的教学经验和独到的教学方法，而且坚持一对一外教教学，做到最低每节课13.8元，点击上述蓝字链接即可免费体验一节课~不知道如何选择英语机构，可以百度咨询“阿卡索vivi老师”；如果想下载免费英语资源，可以百度搜索“阿卡索官网论坛”。
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
I am the Driver
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said.
我是司机
一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？” “我是司机。”他回答说。
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我负责
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
A tiger caught a Deer.一只老虎抓到一头鹿
The tiger plans to eat the deer, so the deer screamed: " you can't eat me"老虎打算吃了这头鹿.鹿急忙大叫：“你不能吃我？”
The tiger hesitated, feeling very strange, so he asked the deer: " why can't i eat you? 老虎一楞，感到很奇怪，于是问鹿：“为什么我不能吃你？”
The deer said:" Because im a protected second class animal in the country, so, no matter what you can't eat me !"
鹿说：“因为我是国家二级保护动物，所以，你无论如何也不能吃了我！”
The tiger after hearing what the deer said, laughed and said " haha, then i should really eat you !
老虎听完笑着说：“呵呵，那么我更应该要吃你了
Deer asked : " why ?"
鹿说：“为什么？”
" because im a first class protected animal in the country" Tiger proudly said
“因为我是国家一级动物！”老虎得意地说。
1、Boy:?Is?this?seat?empty??Girl:?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：这个座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。??
2、Boy:?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink??Girl:?Actually?I'd?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？?女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。?
3、My?little?dog?can't?read?Mrs.?Brown:?Oh,?my?dear,?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog!?Mrs.?Smith:?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers!??Mrs.?Brown:?It's?no?use,?my?little?dog?can't?read.?
我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦，?亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！?史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！?布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
4、My?Wife?Will?Exchange?Them。A?gentleman?walks?into?a?store?and?asked?for?a?pair?of?gloves.???″Cloth?or?leather﹖″?asked?the?salesperson.??″Makes?no?difference?″replied?customer.???″What?color﹖″?asked?the?clerk.??″Any″?he?responded.?
″Size﹖″?″Give?me?whatever?you?prefer″?the?gentleman?said?slightly?exasperated.?″My?wife?will?be?back?tomorrow?to?exchange?them.″?
反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。?“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。?“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。?“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。?“号码呢？”?“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”?
5、A??physics?Examination，Once?in?a?physics?examination,?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon,?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was:?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first,?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls????
Nick‘s?answer:?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.???
一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。??
6、Jim’s?History?Examination。Uncle:?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother:?Oh,?not?at?all?well,?but?there,?it?wasn't?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.???
吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。?
7、he?is?really?somebody。--?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?--?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do?--?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.???
他真是一个大人物。--?我叔叔下面有1000个人。--?他真是一个大人物。干什么的？--?墓地守墓人。
扩展资料：
笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。
人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。
同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。
参考资料：百度百科：笑话
英语简单易懂笑话带翻译
服务员：茶或咖啡?先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?
看起来象是在仰泳，先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇!
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
五个英语小笑话
五个英语小笑话
一男养一猪,特烦它,就想把它给扔了,但是此猪认得回家的路,扔了好多次都没有成功.某日,此人驾车弃猪,当晚打电话给他的妻子问：“猪归否?”其妻曰：“归矣.”男非常气愤,大吼道：“快让它接电话,我迷路了.”
A man raising a pig,especially annoying it,want it to throw it away,but the pigs know the way home,throw several times without success.One day,the man driving abandoned pig,night to call his wife asked:" whether to the pig?" His wife said:" to carry on." Angry men,big growl:" let it answer the phone,I'm lost."
昨天和一同学聊最近小三猖獗.他说他有一次在他爸爸的手机里有一个人的'名字存储为老婆,但是号码不是他妈妈.背着父亲战战兢兢回过去,发现是一位大叔.他最后自我劝慰说,可能有人姓婆吧.
Yesterday and a classmate in recent three rampant.He said that he had a time in his father's mobile phone in the name of a person is stored as a wife,but not his mother.他大惊,He was carrying his father back,trembling with fear,discovery is an uncle.He consoled himself last,may have the surname Po.
有天晚上从学校外面的网吧出来,因为结了冰,不小心脚一滑,在即将摔倒的时候,我拉住了一个经过的男生并且惊叫了一声：“妈呀!”结果那男生结结巴巴的说了一句：“你,你,你认错人了.”就匆匆走了..
One day in the evening from outside the school Internet bar comes out,because the ice,accidentally slipped,in the fall,I pulled by a boy and screamed:" omg!"Results the boys hesitating in speaking to say:" you,you,you." Left in a hurry..
一个人生病了去打点滴,因为赶时间他加快点滴的速度,医生看到了就调慢了,医生走了他又调快了.医生叫他不要调快但是他不听,医生生气道：“真赶时间,那你喝了吧”.
A man ill to drip,because in a hurry he accelerated the intravenous drip speed,the doctor saw the transfer is slow,the doctor came and he transferred quickly.The doctor told him not to fast but he did not,the doctor gets angry:" really pressed for time,you drink it".
明天公司内部考核,我和一互有好感的女同事.我：我要去参加比赛了,给点儿精神上的鼓励吧!MM：一个内部比赛瞎激动什么,再说我也不会精神上的鼓励,就会肉体的.我：你...怎么突然对我这么好...MM：想什么美事儿呢,你要过不去,我就抽死你.
Tomorrow the company internal examination,and I liked each other female colleagues.I:I want to join the game,give some spiritual encouragement!MM:an inner race blind excited,say I will not spiritual encouragement,will the body.I:you...How suddenly so good to me ...MM:what good things,you have to go through,I will take you to death.
;
