本文目录一览：
- 1、英语小笑话带翻译短
- 2、英语短篇笑话
- 3、简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
- 4、又幽默又短的英语笑话
- 5、有什么爆笑有关英语的英语小笑话？
- 6、有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些：英语小笑话带翻译简短
- 7、有哪些英语小笑话？给我来十个（越短越好）
- 8、简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄？
- 9、英语短笑话带翻译
- 10、经典短英语幽默笑话大全？
英语小笑话带翻译短
英语小笑话带翻译短
英语小笑话带翻译短一：
Do You Know My Work? One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire. “Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I'm a policeman. “Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”
你知道我是干什么的吗? 一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。 “在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的.故事。”
英语小笑话带翻译短二：
Wife talking to her husband，who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
妻子和丈夫谈话，他一天到晚总是看报纸，妻子抱怨说：我要是报纸就好了，那样我就可以天天在你手里了。
丈夫说我也希望那样，那样我就可以每天换一个了。
NOTE
I wish I were ....是虚拟语气的说法，表示希望发生但不会发生的。
英语小笑话带翻译短三：
The Crowded Store
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.
As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
一天，一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前，排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤， 但是又被挤到了最后面，而且下巴被重重的碰了几下，他对最后一个人说：“如果他们再次这样对我，我就不去开商店门了!!!”
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英语短篇笑话
英语短篇笑话
看英语笑话，开心学习英语!
1、
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
2、
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱，宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的.怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
3、
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生，我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答：“哦，是这样，我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话，就别想保住我的工作!”
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9. 带翻译的经典英语笑话
10. 英语笑话带翻译
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简短英语笑话带翻译三篇
【 #英语资源# 导语】笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。以下是由 无 整理了简单的中英文对照英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
【篇一】简短英语笑话带翻译
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?
杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
【篇二】简短英语笑话带翻译
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
简单的中英文对照英语笑话：Get to the hospital 医院要怎么走 An absent-minded person was standing in the middle of a busy intersection where a policeman was directing traffic, and he kept bugging the policeman because he was confused.
"Excuse me, Officer! Can you tell me how to get to the hospital?"
The officer was very busy and said, "Just stand here and you'll get there!"
有个很健忘的人站在车水马龙的十字路口正中央，那里有个警察正忙着指挥交通，而他不断地去干扰这位值勤的警员，因为他搞不清楚方向。
他问道：“请问一下，警察先生，可以告诉我医院要怎么走吗?”
这个忙不过来的警察对他说：“就站在这里，你就会到医院了!”
【篇三】简短英语笑话带翻译
Someone asked a woman, "I see that you wear a locket on your neck. It must be a very dearmemento from some loved one." The woman said, "Yes, it is a lock of my husband's hair." So the friend said, "Wow! You are so sentimental! But your husband is still alive. Is it necessary?" And the woman said, "Yes! I know, but his hair is all gone."
有人问一位女士：“我看你的脖子上戴着一条心锁项链，这里面一定有你所爱的人的珍贵纪念物。”那位女士回答说：“是啊，里面珍藏着我先生的头发。”朋友接着说：“哇!多么浓情蜜意啊!但你的丈夫还活着，有这个必要吗?”那位女士说：“是啊!我知道，但是他的头发已经全部掉光了!”
又幽默又短的英语笑话
又幽默又短的英语笑话，希望能让你开心！
一、英语幽默短笑话1：
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
二、英语幽默短笑话2
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
三、英语幽默短笑话3
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
Well, bring me the winner then.
服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
有什么爆笑有关英语的英语小笑话？
1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”
店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”
4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
有关英语小笑话带翻译短一些：英语小笑话带翻译简短
笑话是文化的重要组成部分,通过笑话,我们可以了解一个国家的文化内涵。我精心收集了有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇1
i'll see to the rest
a guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"come on, miss!" he shouted. "shut the door, please!"
"oh, i just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"you just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and i'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我负责
一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇2
first flight
mr. johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, mr. johnson was very worried about accepting. finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and mr. johnson boarded the plane.
his friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. mr. johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
after a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "look at those people down there. they look as small as ants, don't they?"
"those are ants," answered his friend. "we're still on the ground."
第一次坐飞机
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。
他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是?”
“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”
有关短一些的英语小笑话带翻译篇3
my first and my last
when george was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. he soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
george had a friend. his name was mark. one day george offered to take mark up in his plane. mark thought, "i've travelled in a big plane several times, but i've never been in a small one, so i'll go."
they went up, and george flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
when they came down again, mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "well, george, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
gerogy was very surprised and said, "two trips?"
"yes, my first and my last," answered mark.
第一次与最后一次
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。”
升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”
乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行?”
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。
有哪些英语小笑话？给我来十个（越短越好）
1.What's the best day to eat fried fish and chips?那一天是最好的日子去吃炸鱼和薯片？
Fry-Day (近似"friday")
2.What's the best month to eat toast?那一个月是最好的月份去吃土司？
Jam-uary(jam意为果酱，而jam-uary又近似january一月，所以答案为一月）
3.What do you get if you eat too much dessert?当你吃太多的点心时你会得什么？
A stomach-cake(本题答案想表达的是肚子痛，此答案和肚子痛stomach-ache相近）
4.Monster school pupil: What are we cooking for lunch today?
怪物学院学生：今天的午饭要煮什么？
Monster school teacher: Shut up and go to the stove.
怪物学院老师：闭嘴并去到撸子里。
4. What's worse than finding a slug in your salad?有什麼比找到鼻涕虫塞在你的沙拉？
A half slug.半个鼻涕虫。
5.“waiter,waiter.There are some worms on my plate".服务员，服务员，我的盘子里有一些虫子！
"I didn't see any worms.Those are your sausages.我并没有看到什么虫子,那些是你的香肠。
6.Why did the man stare at the carton of orange juice？为什麼男人盯著橙汁纸箱？
Because it said 'concentrate'.因为它说：“集中”。
7.Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇动瓶子了
8.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
9.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
10.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A:what is your name? 你叫啥名？
B:Hu胡（谐音:谁）
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who?谁？
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You!你！
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊
B:Hu!胡！
A:You! What is your name!? 你！你叫啥名？！
B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡
A:O~哦
三 Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
二 Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.
When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"
"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.
On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.
Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
情人节前一天，一个女人做了个项链的梦。
当她醒来，她和她丈夫说：“我刚梦到你情人节给了我一根珍珠项链。你说那是什么含义呢？”。
“到情人节那天你就会知道了。”他笑着说。
情人节那天，男人给了他老婆一个礼盒。
她很兴奋地打开，看到的却是一本书，书名是《梦的解析》。
1、英语笑话（一）??
老师在黑板上写了一句：Time?is?money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”???
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老师说：Go?ahead.??
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老师说：Go?ahead.??
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？???
小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！???
2、英语笑话（二）??
某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I?am?hong tao?liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！???
3、英语笑话（三）??
江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss?Jiang,?you?are?very?beautiful."?翻译照翻，江青心花怒?放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。??
翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where??Where?"?外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere,?everywhere."??
翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You?are?not?allowed?to?see,?you?are?not?allowed?to?see."??
4、英语笑话（四）???
话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大?拇指道：「I?AM后羿！」??
B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I?AM丘比特！」??
轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！?结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」???
5、英语笑话（五）??
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，?忙说：I?am?sorry.???
老外应道：I?am?sorry?too.???
某人听后又道：I?am?sorry?three.???
老外不解，问：What?are?you?sorry?for????
某人无奈，道：I?am?sorry?five.?
6、英语笑话（六）??
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOyOTA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：?“oh，NISSAN！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”??
后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How?Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”??
日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计?程表）！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”?
7、英语笑话（七）??
传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了?地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。?精彩继续教皇：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了（Virgin?Maria）.?克林顿（坏笑中）：Sorry，it"s?too?late.?
8、英语笑话（八）?
小强去看电影，到了电影售票处，发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天，就自告奋勇的上前做翻译，售票小姐说：麻烦你告诉她，现在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站着看。??
小强转头就对老外说：no?sit?see,?stand?see.?if?see?stand?see.?
老外回答说:Sorry?I?don’t?understand?your?English.??
小强就对售票小姐说：哦，他说他不懂英文....
踩了一个老外的脚，为了显示咱国家是有名的礼仪之邦，就先SORRY啦，老外更是礼貌有加，就来个sorry?too.?
two??the?chinese?puzzled.恩，咱中国人还不是得礼尚往来？！~那就I?am?sorry?three~???这下老外蒙了，一句what?are?you?sorry?for??
晕，还有完没完啊，还FOUR？！~哼，偶跟你卯上了，Iam?sorry?five~(who怕?who？！~）?
9、英语笑话（九）?
我朋友在南大看到一非洲老外：“hello，你妈是猴儿。”老外用纯正的天津话说：“你妈是大猩猩！”?
10、英语笑话（十）?
"Are?we?poisonous?"?the?young?snake?asked?his?mother.??"Yes,?dear,"?she?replied?-?"Why?do?you?ask?"??"Cause?I've?just?bitten?my tongue!?"?????????????????????
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”??“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄？
笑话***jokes***往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。我整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一
Wow!That's a Big One!
哇!那个真是大得吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom.
他问哪里有洗手间。
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟。
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don't flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇二
不费吹灰之力!
There were four passengers in the *** all aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a busines *** an, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的讯息：“各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。”
Naturally, the men were horrified and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。
The busines *** an said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道：“各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the *** artest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：“我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The *** artest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇三
No Fooling!
不要瞎混!
"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "
“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”
"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her hu *** and with surprise.
“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，
"But you've been married three times. "
“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”
"That's true. dear; but my first hu *** and was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;
“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。
my second hu *** and was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;
我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。
and my third hu *** and was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "
我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：“下星期我就回来看你。”
英语短笑话带翻译
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
英语短笑话带翻译篇1
Liar,Liar
骗子，骗子
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.
老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.
警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."
她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。”
The next-door neighbor protested,
隔壁邻居期提出反驳说：
"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."
“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”
The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"
老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”
英语短笑话带翻译篇2
A Henpecked Husband
怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"
这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说：
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.
我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”
英语短笑话带翻译篇3
向你的烦恼说再见
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
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经典短英语幽默笑话大全？
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。下面我整理了短英语幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!
短英语幽默笑话摘抄
Friend for Dinner
请朋友吃饭
Honey, said the hu *** and to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!
“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”
I know all that.
“这些我全都知道。”
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.
“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
短英语幽默笑话鉴赏
The Fourth Element
第四元素
Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
老师：自然界的四大元素是什么?
Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。
Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
老师：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的?
Student: Soap!
学生：肥皂。
短英语幽默笑话赏析
Boxing and Running
拳击和赛跑
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight."
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”
Friend: "But suppose he es up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box."
朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
短英语幽默笑话欣赏
Make your fortune
计划你的将来
"How did you make your fortune?"
“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”
"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."
“我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。”
"How did that help?"
“那有什么用?”
"Now he has the experience and I the money."
现在他有经验了，我有钱。”
短英语幽默笑话品味
The Looney Bin
疯人院
Late one night at the insane asylum ***疯人院***one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”
短英语幽默笑话品析
会说话的钟 Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。
"That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。
Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这 *** !现在是凌晨两点钟了!”
经典的短英语幽默笑话
长寿秘诀 Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
“我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，”那女士说。
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
"I *** oke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, everexercise."
“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。”
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman.
“哦，真神奇，”女士说。
"How old are you?"
“你高寿?”
"Twenty-six."
“二十六。”
关于短英语幽默笑话
控制女人的男人 Two Lines In Heaven
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God es and says "I want the men to make twolines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the menthat were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
世上的每一个人都上了天堂 神说 :" 要男人分成两队 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一队 , 跟着圣彼德去 ."
Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 mileslong,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.
队伍列好后 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里长 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,仅有一人 .
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my imageand you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up andmade me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one onthat line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
神生气的说 :" 你们男人应该感到羞耻 ,我按照自己的形象创造了你们 ,而你们被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的儿子 ,站着使我骄傲 . 你们应该向他学习 .告诉他们 , 儿子 ,你如何成为唯一站在这一队上的 ?"这男子回说 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在这的 !"
