本文目录一览：
- 1、有关幽默感的英语作文100词
- 2、英语搞笑故事
- 3、关于幽默的英文故事
- 4、英语小故事幽默100词
- 5、幽默英语小故事150字带翻译
- 6、幽默英文笑话短文带翻译
- 7、一个幽默的英语小故事100字左右
- 8、幽默故事100字英文
- 9、学校英文幽默故事100字
- 10、少儿英语幽默小故事带翻译100字：父母的东西
有关幽默感的英语作文100词
幽默是缓和尴尬局面的智慧和机智.下面是我收集的英语作文，供大家参考!
有关幽默感的英语作文1
A sense of humor is universally considered the most valuable asset in our personality. It is born within every person's heart but it has to be cultivated.A person without a sense of humor is just like a spring without flowers or a dish without seasoning. In a sense your personality lies in your sense of humor.
Humor can enhance physical as well as mental wellbeing. It helps us bare our burdens reduce tension helps us overcome our frustrations relax our muscles and dissolve countless trifles and irritations offered by daytoday life.
With the cracking of a joke all of our worries and sadness disappear like mist and we are full of vigor once again. Besides humor helps us live in harmony with others. With it you can always stay on good terms with others.
One way to cultivate a sense of humor is to have a wide range of knowledge about many topics so that the slightest differences in meaning of a joke can be fully understood; otherwise we would be simply at a loss in such a situation. Another crucial point in developing a sense of humor is to have a rich imagination. Nothing can be worse than the lack of imagination to kill an otherwise funny joke.
A sense of humor is one of the ways in which we relax and recreate ourselves. The things we find humorous may vary but to have a sense of humor is very important and should be cultivated to get the most out of life.
译文：
幽默感被公认为是人的性格中最有价值的私有财产.它是与生俱来的但也需要后天的培养.一个人如果没有幽默感就像春天没有花朵一盘菜没有调料.从某种意义来说你的个性来自于你的幽默感.
幽默能够提高我们的身心素质.它能够帮助我们减轻压力、缓解紧张、笑对挫折、放松身体、化解日常生活中的琐事和愤怒它能化干戈为玉帛.随着一声玩笑所有的苦恼、悲伤和疲劳都会烟消云散让我们再次充满了生机和活力.此外幽默还有助于我们与他人和睦相处.有了它你就会时常与他人保持良好关系.
培养幽默感的一个途径是众多的话题都要有广博的知识往往幽默是在细微之处见精神只有拥有广博的知识才能懂得幽默;否则我们在面对别人的幽默时就会不知所措.另外培养幽默感时同样关键的一点是要有丰富的想象力.缺乏想象力则会置幽默于死地.
幽默感是我们放松和娱乐的途径之一. 幽默可能因事而异但至关重要的是要有幽默感而且应该积极培养之以期生活更加丰富多彩.
英语作文带感觉的作文2
What is humor? It is not the performances of a clown who attempts to entertain others nor is it simply making fun of others. Humor is the wisdom and resourcefulness that can alleviate an awkward situation. Life inevitably brings disappointments setbacks and failures. If our endurance in the midst of frustrations is not sound anxiety and panic can overtake us. If one has a sense of humor however one can mentally adapt to the changing conditions in a wise and healthy manner.
Humor can reduce distress and unhappiness by creating a pleasant and friendly atmosphere. While stiff expressions make others uncomfortable smiles and wit can soften anger relieve depression and comfort a broken heart. Humor can foster better communication and understanding and therefore not only brings happiness to oneself but also and perhaps more importantly gratifies others. A sense of humor can certainly increase one's popularity.
Humor can clearly be of much help to our work study and life as it is beneficial to our physical and mental health. Not everyone one has an innate sense of humor however. A sense of humor is usually acquired in relation to others. In order to develop a sense of humor one must have an open mind and the ability to deal with unpleasant events and people. Humor also requires a broad spectrum of knowledge and optimistic thinking.
译文：
什么是幽默?它不是小丑企图取悦别人的表演也不仅仅是拿别人来寻开心.幽默是缓和尴尬局面的智慧和机智.生活中避免不了失望、挫折和失败如果我们承受挫折的忍耐力不够焦虑和恐慌就会主导我们的身心.但如果一个人有幽默感他就能用一种明智而健康的方式在心理上适应变化的环境.
幽默通过创造一种愉快而友好的气氛来减轻不幸和苦恼.僵硬的表达让别人不舒服微笑和机智却能熄灭怒火、减轻沮丧、抚慰绝望.幽默能促进更好的沟通和理解因而不仅把快乐带给自身而且更重要的还能让别人感到高兴.幽默感确实能提高一个人受欢迎的程度.
因为幽默有益于我们的身心健康所以对我们的生活、工作、学习无疑都大有帮助.但没有人是生来就有幽默感的.幽默感通常是在人际交往中形成的.为了培养幽默感一个人必须有开放的心胸和接受不愉快的事物的能力.幽默还需要有宽广的知识面和乐观的心态.
有关幽默感的英语作文100词
英语搞笑故事
① 英文幽默故事
Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw． She said she did not mindBernard Shaw's old age and ugliness because he was a genius． And if they could bine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious． “With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect．” Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination wassplendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and yourwisdom？” 向肖伯纳求婚 英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。” 肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢？”
② 幽默英语故事
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse es up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got ins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse es up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse es up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got ins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
③ 英语幽默笑话故事
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a *** all box with holes punched in the top. " What's in your box?" asked the friend. "A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." "But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. "So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 猫和老鼠 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。
④ 关于英语的幽默故事
Three Surgeons 三个有名的外科医生 Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist." "That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner." "I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate." 三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。” “这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。” “我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马 *** ，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。” 一天3个人比赛射击。A，50步射中某人头上的苹果说：I am A。B，100步射中说：I am B。C，150步，开枪后说：I am sorry.
⑤ 四个英语经典搞笑故事
My First and My Last When Gee was thirty-five, he bought a *** all plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. Gee had a friend. His name was Mark. One day Gee offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a *** all one, so I'll go." They went up, and Gee flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, Gee, thank you very much for those o trips in your plane." Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?" "Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark. 第一次与最后一次 乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。 乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想，“我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。” 升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。 后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。” 乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行？” “是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。 First Flight Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own *** all phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane. His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes. After a minute or o he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as *** all as ants, don't they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." 第一次坐飞机 约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。 他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。 过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？” “那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。” A Nail Or A Fly? An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The *** ell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding! 钉子还是苍蝇？ 一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。 于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。 I'll See to the Rest A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!" "Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back. "You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest." 其余的事由我负责 一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。 “快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。” “噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。 “请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。” Chaude and Cold A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he plained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water." "But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal." "Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C." "Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city." 热与冷 蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。” “可是，先生，C代表Chaude－法语里代表‘热’。如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道这一点。” “等等，”那位顾客咆哮一声，“另外一个龙头同样标的是C。” “当然，”经理说道：“它代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。” 这个网站里还有很多//wenku./view/6b5902aad1f34693daef3eb2
⑥ 英语搞笑故事
Weather Prediction An old Indian chief was famous for predicting what the weather would do. A group of people went up to the chief and asked him, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" The chief replied, "Much rain. Very wet." The next day, it did rain and it was very wet. Some more people went up to the chief and asked, "What will the weather be like tomorrow?" "Much snow. Very cold." Sure enough, it snowed and it was very cold. The next day, people were so impressed with this, they asked him another time. Chief," they asked, "what will the weather do tomorrow?" The chief replied, "I nno. Radio broken."
⑦ 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）
Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?
为什么大象不玩电脑？
A: He’s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠！
鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。
mouse [ma?s]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。
“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”
“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."
医生说:"我怕他已经死了."
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."
妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says: "a second",
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"
And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.
他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"
上帝说:"一秒钟."
最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"
上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
⑧ 搞笑的英语故事
Talking Dog A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads "Talking Dog for Sale." Intrigued, he walks in. "So what have you done with your life?" he asks the dog. "I’ve led a very full life," says the dog. "I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home." The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, "Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?" The owner says, "Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!" A Baby? A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
⑨ 英语幽默故事
Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。 Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？ Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What？Eyelids？ 老师：什么？眼皮？ Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了 Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!" 疯人院 一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"
关于幽默的英文故事
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：
Midway Tactics
Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
英语小故事幽默100词
My wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify bird species solely by its song. To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour. We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing. “What's that?” I challenged. She listened closely. “It's three o'clock.” 我太太对于我光听鸟的叫声就能说出是哪一种鸟的本领非常佩服。为了帮助她学习有关鸟的知识，我买了一台小巧玲珑的厨房钟。它每个小时能发出不同的鸟叫声。我们正在院子里休息的时候，一只红雀开始唱歌。我考考我太太：“那是什么鸟？”她仔细听了一会儿说：“那是三点钟。” “i'm sorry ，madam ，but i shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “enty d ollars! why ，i understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” o： teacher：we all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. now，can anyone give me a good example? john：well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 the lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly o hours. then he started again, and said he:"let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "i'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "we have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” New Discovery A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!" 新发现 一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。 乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来!” hillbilly n. 乡下人，乡巴佬. pudgy adj.矮胖的，矮而粗的 drawl vt, vi慢吞吞地说；拉长语调地说 或者去这个网址//tingclass/list-506-1
幽默英语小故事150字带翻译
1. Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 2. Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I“m going abroad tomorrow, but I“d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I“ve e to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that“s all right," answered Joan. "I“m his sister." "I“m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I“m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，"我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。"琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，"我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。" "这里只有亲属可以探望病人。"护士长说。 "噢，是的，"琼说，"我是他的妹妹。" "很高兴认识你，"护士长说，"我是他的母亲。" 希望能帮助到您，望采纳！ Midway Tactics Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 “你还要什么?”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you ins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 大五个月 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game beeen Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not ing to West Point." 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” (6)Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the hu *** and‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was niy. 慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Hu *** ands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 智课 有 英汉双翻译的 文章
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译
有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面我为你带来幽默英文笑话短文带翻译，希望你会喜欢。
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译【1】 思不断!
After spending all day watching football，Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning，his wife woke him up."Get up, dear," she said. A It's twenty to seven. "
看了一整天的橄榄球赛，亨利倒头睡在了电视机旁的椅子上。第二天早上，他的妻子来叫他起床:“起来吧，亲爱的，差二十分七点了。”
He woke with a start. "In whose favor?"
他被惊醒了，爬起来问:“哪方领先?”
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译【2】 分享
As the mother of three small children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.
作为一个每隔两年生一个小孩，现已是三个小孩的母亲，我到晚止时常感列精疲力尽。他们的父亲和我给孩子们订下严格的规定:讲完故事、祈祷、喝水、上厕所之后，他们必须马上上床睡觉。不许再干别的事。
One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"
一天晚上，经过了一番努力，三个孩子终于钻进了被窝。我来到了厨房想吃点饼干，喝点牛奶，独自呆一会儿。我刚想放松一下，就被二个孩子团团围住。他们站在那儿盯着我吃东西.我转向他们的父亲问:“我们还要不要遵守规定了?”
Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "
我们三岁的'小孩说:“妈妈，还是坚持按规定做吧!”
Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"
我知道她不想去睡觉，就问:“玛丽莎，那么规定是怎么说的呢?”
"Share with one another,"she replied.
“有福同享。”她回答说。
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译【3】 幸运?
Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."
有一天我丈夫走路去上班，被汽车给撞了。我丈夫伤势不太重。司机向他道了歉，随后又说:“你太幸运了，我们就在医务室附近。”
"I don't know how lucky that is ,"my husband replied."I' m the doctor. "
我丈夫回答说:“我并不感到有多幸运，我就是那儿的医生。”
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译【4】 只能一辆!
After retirement，our friends Jim and Evelyn began traveling around the United States in a motor home，towing their compact sedan behind. While driving through a shopping mall parking lot in New York，they were pleased when a motorist stopped his vehicle and signaled them through.
我的朋友吉姆和依娃林退休后，开始用他们的家庭式旅行车进行环美旅行。他们在旅行车后面还施着一辆小桥车备用。在经过纽约一家商店的停车场时，一个骑摩托的小伙子很礼貌地停下来示意让他们先过。这令他们很高兴。
Seconds later，they were jolted to a stop by a loud crash behind them. To their amazement，the polite motorist had demolished their car.
几秒钟后，就听后边咔的一声巨响，他们停了车一看，那个小伙于把他们的小桥车给撞了。
His explanation:"I didn't mind letting you nice folks by，but I didn't want that compact car to sneak through too."
他的解释是这样的:“我不介意让你们这对好人通过，但我不想让那辆小轿车也跟着溜过去。”
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一个幽默的英语小故事100字左右
『壹』 跪求80~100字的英语小幽默故事，带翻译！
I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢？ Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。” Hospitality 好客 The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。" Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
『贰』 求一篇有趣的英语小故事（100到150字左右）
There was a man who had seven sons, but he had no daughter, greatly though he longed for one. At last his wife told him that they could again expect a child and, sure enough, when it was born it was a baby girl. There was great rejoicing, but the child was weak and puny, so weak that it had to be christened at once. The father told one of the boys to go quickly to the spring and fetch christening water; the other six ran along with him, and because each of them wanted to be the first to dip the jug into the well, it fell in and sank. So there they stood and didn‘t know what to do, and none of them dared go home. When they didn‘t e back their father got impatient and said:“ I‘ll wager they‘ve been playing some game again and fotten all about it, the godless brats.“ He was afraid the little girl would have to die unbaptized, and in his rage he cried out:“ I wish those boys would all turn into ravens.“ He‘d scarcely spoken the words when he heard a whirring of wings in the air overhead, looked up and saw seven coal-black ravens flying away. 有个人，他有七个儿子，他很希望有个女儿，可是怎么盼也没有。好不容易，妻子又怀孕了。生下来一看，果然是个女孩。他们非常高兴。但是孩子太小，又非常虚弱，非得马上急救洗礼不可。父亲打发一个男孩立即到井台去打洗礼水，其余六个也跟着去了。在井台旁，他们都争着先打水，结果罐子掉进井里，沉了下去。他们不知道该怎么办才好，都真楞楞地站在那儿，谁也不敢回家了。父亲在家里等得不耐烦了，就说：“我敢说这些无法无天的孩子一定是贪玩，把打水的事给忘了。”他担心女孩子不经洗礼会死，就生气地大声喊起来：“淘气鬼，都变成乌鸦才好呢！”这话刚出口，就听到头顶有“吧哒吧哒”鸟儿拍打翅膀的声音。他抬头一看，只见空中有七只漆黑漆黑的乌鸦飞过去了。
『叁』 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）
Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?
为什么大象不玩电脑？
A: He’s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠！
鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。
mouse [ma?s]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。
“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”
“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."
医生说:"我怕他已经死了."
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."
妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says: "a second",
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"
And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.
他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"
上帝说:"一秒钟."
最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"
上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
『肆』 100字英语小故事
是个短的幽默小故事，很简单的那种哦～～ Look at the sky One day , Charley bought a hot dog in a snack bar after school . Suddenly , he stopped and raised his head high . He kept looking at the sky . It lasted o minutes . A woman passed by . she saw Charley looking at the sky . and she stooped and also looked at the sky . The sky was blue . There were some white clouds . Charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit . The woman also went on looking at the sky . Mary passers-by stopped . They looked at the sky , too . After a while , charley lowered his head . He laughed and asked . “what are you looking for in the sky ?” The woman said : “ why are you looking at the sky ?” “I didn’t look at the sky .” Charley pointed to his nose .” My nose was bleeding .” 看天空 查理在路上把头抬得高高的，路上的人以为天上有什么好看的，一个接一个的停了下来，抬头望着天，可是，查理抬头看天是因为他的鼻子出血了，那么其他人呢？ （这不是翻译哦，只是概要。。。故事你应该看的懂的）
『伍』 英语小故事100词左右
The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
『陆』 我需要一个英语小故事带翻译的100字左右。
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
『柒』 求一篇100字左右的英语小故事
1、“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 2、The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” 第二个有点多，选第一个吧，短小精炼。 望采纳(⊙o⊙)
『捌』 幽默英语小故事100词
My wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify bird species solely by its song. To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour. We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing. “What's that?” I challenged. She listened closely. “It's three o'clock.” 我太太对于我光听鸟的叫声就能说出是哪一种鸟的本领非常佩服。为了帮助她学习有关鸟的知识，我买了一台小巧玲珑的厨房钟。它每个小时能发出不同的鸟叫声。我们正在院子里休息的时候，一只红雀开始唱歌。我考考我太太：“那是什么鸟？”她仔细听了一会儿说：“那是三点钟。”
幽默故事100字英文
I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢？ Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。” Hospitality 好客 The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。" Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 是个短的幽默小故事，很简单的那种哦～～ Look at the sky One day , Charley bought a hot dog in a snack bar after school . Suddenly , he stopped and raised his head high . He kept looking at the sky . It lasted o minutes . A woman passed by . she saw Charley looking at the sky . and she stooped and also looked at the sky . The sky was blue . There were some white clouds . Charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit . The woman also went on looking at the sky . Mary passers-by stopped . They looked at the sky , too . After a while , charley lowered his head . He laughed and asked . “what are you looking for in the sky ?” The woman said : “ why are you looking at the sky ?” “I didn’t look at the sky .” Charley pointed to his nose .” My nose was bleeding .” 看天空 查理在路上把头抬得高高的，路上的人以为天上有什么好看的，一个接一个的停了下来，抬头望着天，可是，查理抬头看天是因为他的鼻子出血了，那么其他人呢？（ 没有原文翻译，但是你应该能看懂的）
学校英文幽默故事100字
A notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement． A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor．How are you？ “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me．I've been limping for the last half hour．” 16．心不在焉的老师 有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。 一个碰见他的学生说： “晚安，老师。您怎么了？” “啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。” by Leigh Hunt I had a schoolmate who had e into school at an age later than usual，and could hardly read．There was a book used by the leaners in reading called“Dialogues beeen a Missionary and an Indian．”It was a poor performance，full of inconclusive arguments and other monplaces．The boy in question used to appear with this book in his hand in the middle of the school，the master standing behind him． The lesson was to begin．The poor fellow，whose great fault lay in a deep toned drawl of his syllable and the omission of his stops，stood half looking at the book，and half casting his eye towards the right of him， whence the blows were to proceed．The master looked over him，and his hand was ready．I am not exact in my quotation at this distance of time ；but the spirit of one of the passages that I recollect was to the following purport，and thus did the teacher and his pupil proceed： Master．“Now，young man，have a care ；or I'll set you a swingeing task．”（A mon phrase of his．） Pupil（making a sort of heavy bolt at his calamity，and neverremembering his stop at the word“Missionary”）．Missionary Can you see the wind？ （Master gives him a aslap on thehcheek．） Pupil（raising his voice to a cry，and still fetting his stop）．“Indian No！” Master．“Zounds，young man！have a care how you provoke me！” Pupil（always fetting the stop）．Missionary How then do you know that there is such a thing？” （Here a terrible thump．） Pupil（with a shout of agony）． Indian Because I feel it．” 15．诵读课 李·亨特 当年我有个同学，入学比常规的年龄要迟，而且几乎完全不会读书。那时有个学生用的阅读课本，叫做《传教士和印第安人的对话》。课本不怎么样，尽是不得要领的论说和一些老生常谈。那孩子常常手拿该课本出现在学校中央，身后站着教师。 授课即将开始。那可怜的学生的毛病在于他读音节时语调深沉地拖长腔并略去应有的停顿。他站立着，三心二意地看着书，一面向身子右边瞄去，因为打击将会来自那个方向。教师盯视着他，手已摆出了打人的架势。因为时隔已久，我的引述可能不很确切，但就我所忆，先生和学生的一次对话的要旨大致如下： 老师：“年轻人，小心点；要不我可要让你狠狠吃点苦头。”（这是他的口头禅。） 学生：（大难临头，身体猛然一摇闪，根本记不得在“传教士”一词后应该停顿。）“传教士你能看见风吗？” （教师扇了他一耳光。） 学生：（提高了嗓音，几乎是在哭喊，但仍不记得要停顿）“印第安人不能啊！” 教师：“该死！年轻人，小心点别惹我发火！” 学生：（一如既往漏掉停顿）“传教士那你怎么知道有这样一种东西呢？” （这时来了重重一击。） 学生：（痛苦地叫喊）“印第安人因为我感觉到了。” Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today． “It works like this，” she said．“Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poet—Robert Burns，for instance．”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns．“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames．See？Bobby Burns！” “I see what you mean，” said the class know it all．“But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning？” 14．诗人的名字 我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。 “这个系统是这样的，”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字——例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗？警察燃烧！” “我明白你的意思，”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢？” Proctor（exceedingly angry）：“So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched？Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair？” Soph．（meekly）：“The right leg，sir．” 13．右腿 学监（非常生气）：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被扔进这蛙池里，浑身湿透？那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢？” 二年级学生（恭顺地）：“右腿，先生。” Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation，and the doctor，somewhat tled，said：“Landon，you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject．You seem to lack ambition．Why，at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world．” “Yes，” said Landon，“he couldn't help it，for you will recall the fact，doctor，that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher．” 12．亚历山大大帝 兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。老师有点不悦，对他说道： “兰登，你在这门课上好像进步不大，你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。” “是啊，”兰登说，“他没法不那样。博士先生，您回想一下史实，亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。” Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today．” A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”． Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”． 11．“班”和“笨驴” 格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不会他的班。” 一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。 后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”。 Billy and Bobby were *** all boys．They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other． Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now．Go out and play in the garden—and be good．” “Yes，Mummy，” the o boys answered，and they went out． They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen．“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs．Allen's house．” Mrs．Allen was one of their neighbors． “He's a bad boy，”his mother said．“How did he break it？” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down．” 10．是他的错 比利和波比都是小男孩。他们是兄弟，两人经常打架。 上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。” “是，妈妈，”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。 他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说：“波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”艾伦太太是他们的邻居。 “他是个坏孩子，”他的妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的？” “我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答：“他赶紧蹲下。” Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child． Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too． One evening Mr．and Mrs．Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival．“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby es，”said Mr．Taylor． Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about？”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's ing，”his mother answered． “ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly．“ He'll follow us there．” 9．新生儿 泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。 帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。 一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。” 帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。” “那没用，”帕特绝望地说。“他会跟我们到那儿去的。”
少儿英语幽默小故事带翻译100字：父母的东西
When Peter is 17, he is as tall as his father. So he begins to borrow his father’s clothes when he wants to go out with his father’s clothes when he wants to go out with his friends in the evening. Father doesn’t like this. And he always gets very angry when he finds his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Peter is about to go out; his father stops him in the living room. He looks at Peter’s clothes very carefully. Then he says angrily, “Isn’t that one of my ties, Peter?”
“Yes, Father, it is,” answers Peter.
“And that shirt is mine, too.”
“Yes, that’s your, too.” answers Peter.
“And you’re wearing my belt!”
“Yes, I am, Father,” answers Peter, “You don’t want to your trousers to fall down, do you?”
父母的东西
皮特17岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了。于是，当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。可是这位父亲可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，皮特准备出去，父亲在客厅里拦住了他。父亲细细打量着皮特的穿着。然后气呼呼的说着；“皮特，那不是我的领带吗？”
皮特回答说：“是的，父亲，是您的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是您的。”皮特回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”父亲说。
“是的，父亲，”皮特回答说，“您不愿意让您的裤子掉下来吧？”
