本文目录一览：
- 1、英语冷笑话
- 2、英语简短冷笑话，并有中文翻译。急求
- 3、最简单的英语冷笑话精选？
- 4、英语冷笑话谐音梗
- 5、英语冷笑话带翻译
- 6、简短易懂幽默英语冷笑话
- 7、英语谐音梗冷笑话
- 8、求简单的英语冷笑话
- 9、求一个简单的英文笑话冷笑话也行带翻译
英语冷笑话
white man：are you Black?
black man：no,i'm White。
白人：你是布莱克吗？（BLACK是姓叶有黑人的意思）
黑人：不，我是怀特（WHITE是姓也有白人的意思）
希望你能满意
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
希望您能采纳。
英语简短冷笑话，并有中文翻译。急求
一位先生提著提琴赶著去表演
询问一位女士如何前往卡内基大厅
" How can I go to Carnegie Hall?"
女士却回道"Practice! Practice! Practice! "
Dentist: I'm sorry, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars
Mother: But I thought you only charged five dollars
Dentist: But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients away
Hey I heard everyone was yelling about a big rave in Japan.
我听说日本人人都在说一个很大（摇头派对）大海啸。
1.A male deer ran faster and faster ran faster and faster ran faster and faster, finally he becomes highway (deer).
一只公鹿越跑越快越跑越快越跑越快，最后他变成高速公路（鹿）了。
"Are we poisonous?"the young snake asked his mother"Yes"she replied "Why do you ask""I've just bitten my tongue"
“我有毒吗”一幼蛇问母亲“是的”她回答，“你问这个干什么”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头”
white man：are you Black?
black man：no,i'm White。
白人：你是布莱克吗？（BLACK是姓叶有黑人的意思）
黑人：不，我是怀特（WHITE是姓也有白人的意思）
最简单的英语冷笑话精选？
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。我整理了最简单的英语冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
最简单的英语冷笑话：Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a *** all town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says,
"OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my munity, of reaching my full potential as a person...
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little *** er on your knee!"
最简单的英语冷笑话：There Is No Fish There
One cold Winter day, a blonde decides she wants to take up ice fishing. When she gets to the pond, she begins to cut a hole in the ice. As she does, she hears a voice. "There's no fish there...".
Puzzled, the blonde picks up her stuff and cuts another hole a few feet away. Again, she hears the voice. "There's no fish there..."
The blonde is confused, but still determined. About 10 feet away, she begins to cut another ice hole. "There's no fish there...", she hears.
She immediately turns her head to the sky and says, "Is that you, God?"
"NO! IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE-SKATING RINK! THERE'S NO FISH THERE!"
最简单的英语冷笑话：Indecent Exposure
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"
最简单的英语冷笑话：Because I'm Blonde?
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids
could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the
other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank
top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
最简单的英语冷笑话：Guessing Game
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?"
2nd blonde: "Chickens."
1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?"
2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!"
1st blonde: "Well, I think you've got three."
英语冷笑话谐音梗
英语冷笑话谐音梗如下：
1、What do you call a deer with no eye?
(没有眼睛的鹿 是什么鹿)
No eye deer (No idea).
无眼鹿（不知道）
2、What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?
(一个迟到的番茄会对其他的番茄说什么)
I will ketchup (catch up).
(我能赶上)(ketchup 番茄酱)
3、What do you call a bee from America?
(来自美国的蜜蜂叫什么)
A USB (US bee).
4、Which is faster, hot or cold?
(冷和热，哪个更快)
Hot. Because you can catch a cold.
(热更快，因为你能追上冷/会感冒 catch a cold）
5、What did my dog say when I asked him the answer for two minus two?(当我问我家的狗2减2等于多少，他说了什么)
He said nothing.(他什么也没说 / 他说什么也没有)
英语冷笑话带翻译
white man：are you Black?
black man：no,i'm White。
白人：你是布莱克吗？（BLACK是姓叶有黑人的意思）
黑人：不，我是怀特（WHITE是姓也有白人的意思）
希望你能满意
There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex. So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.
"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney` it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower."
With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney,baloney,baloney" then shouts "pastrami,pastrami,pastrami" and then back to "baloney,baloney,baloney"
Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you`re getting mayonaise all over me!"有这个家伙来往,这个姑娘,他们想要做爱。所以他们去了女孩殿前停止进入女孩男人说道。
“我的小妹妹睡在我们的床上底部的床上睡觉,我不希望她知道我们在做什么,所以当我说“一派胡言”这句话的意思是逼迫,当我说“pastrami”这句话的意思是推动慢。”
这两个设法爬到床上性上。首先,这个女孩嘟囔道,“一派胡言,一派胡言,一派胡言”然后喊“pastrami,pastrami,pastrami”然后回到“一派胡言,一派胡言,一派胡言”
最后,女孩的姐姐说“你们离开做三明治,你要mayonaise在我!”
one car come,one car come .two car pengpeng ,one car die...
Talking clock
会说话的钟
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
1、Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
冰山和衣刷之间有什么区别？
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
一个 撞 船 一个 刷 大衣！(单词的拼写造成的JOKE）
2、white man：are you Black?
black man：no,i'm White
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
简短易懂幽默英语冷笑话
The plural Form of "Child"
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。
老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
汤姆：双胞胎。
When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
人们什么时候说话最少?
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?
学生乙：在二月。
学生甲：为什么呢?
学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
迟到的原因
老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
英语谐音梗冷笑话
英语谐音梗是指利用英语单词的发音相似或相同来制造幽默效果的一种表达方式。以下是一些常见的英语谐音梗冷笑话：
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!（为什么西红柿变红了？因为它看到了沙拉酱！这个梗利用了“saw”（看到）和“sauce”（酱汁）两个单词的发音相似）
2. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!（为什么咖啡要报警？因为它被抢了！这个梗利用了“mugged”（被抢）和“mug”（杯子）两个单词的发音相同）
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.（我告诉我妻子她画眉毛画得太高了，她看上去很惊讶。这个梗利用了“looked surprised”（看上去很惊讶）和“eyebrows”（眉毛）两个单词的发音相似）
4. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!（我正在读一本关于反重力的书，它根本放不下！这个梗利用了“put down”（放下）和“gravity”（重力）两个单词的发音相似）
5. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.（为什么科学家不相信原子？因为它们构成了一切。这个梗利用了“make up”（构成）和“everything”（一切）两个单词的发音相似）
这些英语谐音梗都是基于英语单词的发音来制造幽默效果的，需要对英语单词的发音有一定的了解才能理解其中的幽默。
求简单的英语冷笑话
一只熊走过来了 有备而来 有 bear 来
小白+小白=？小白兔（TWO)
国外有个节目采访lord of ring（指环王）里面那个小哈比人时，他讲了个冷笑话：
Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？）
A: I don’t know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？）
Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（没眼睛鹿……没主意（英语口语的谐音））
agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？）
A: I don’t know, what's it then？（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？）
Q: still no idea……”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音））
求一个简单的英文笑话冷笑话也行带翻译
Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 英语笑话 http://www.english767.com/Article/joke/Index.html 有声英语笑话,推荐 http://www.english767.com/tingli/joke/Index.html
