本文目录一览：
- 1、英语幽默故事小短文欣赏：英语幽默故事
- 2、幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】
- 3、英语幽默小故事搞笑
- 4、英语幽默小故事5篇
- 5、幽默简短的英语小故事
- 6、英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
- 7、英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
- 8、英语幽默小故事7篇
- 9、10个英语幽默故事
英语幽默故事小短文欣赏：英语幽默故事
幽默是所有艺术都具备的艺术形式,幽默是人类所特有的一种感情,在所有艺术中都普遍存在着这种感情的表达方式。我整理了英语幽默故事小短文，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默故事小短文篇一
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
英语幽默故事小短文篇二
My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫马上就要回来了
一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”
在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”
英语幽默故事小短文篇三
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】
【 #能力训练# 导语】大多数小朋友都喜欢听故事，如果是英语故事的话，不但可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。下面是 分享的幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】。欢迎阅读参考！
1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一
The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。
One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。
He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。
He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。
"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。"
守财奴
从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。
一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。
问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。”
2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二
bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life.
shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account.
一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。
不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。
3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三
A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools.
But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished.
乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。
他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。
他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。
4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四
Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write.
One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey."
He began to add the tail. I began to laugh.
翻译
迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。
一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!"
他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。
5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五
There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head.
It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns.
If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull.
As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly.
一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。
公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。
假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。
结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。
6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六
Making His Mark
A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword?
楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。
7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七
A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!”
一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!”
The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away.
小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。
Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms.
小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。
8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八
Wolf and egret
The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?"
This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。
狼与鹭鸶
狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？”
这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九
Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf
Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. "
This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong.
翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼
小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。”
这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十
The Crow and The Pitcher
A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher.
But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water.
When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher.
Then he took another and dropped it in.
Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water.
口渴的乌鸦
一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。
然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。
就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。
渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。
寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语幽默小故事搞笑
故事教学法的应用使得教师在课堂有限的时间内,最高效率地完成教学任务以及实现教育人的目的。我整理了英语幽默搞笑小故事，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默搞笑小故事篇一
幸运?
Walking to work one day, my hu *** and was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."
有一天我丈夫走路去上班，被汽车给撞了。我丈夫伤势不太重。司机向他道了歉，随后又说:“你太幸运了，我们就在医务室附近。”
"I don't know how lucky that is ,"my hu *** and replied."I' m the doctor. "
我丈夫回答说:“我并不感到有多幸运，我就是那儿的医生。”
英语幽默搞笑小故事篇二
分享
As the mother of three *** all children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.
作为一个每隔两年生一个小孩，现已是三个小孩的母亲，我到晚止时常感列精疲力尽。他们的父亲和我给孩子们订下严格的规定:讲完故事、祈祷、喝水、上厕所之后，他们必须马上上床睡觉。不许再干别的事。
One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"
一天晚上，经过了一番努力，三个孩子终于钻进了被窝。我来到了厨房想吃点饼乾，喝点牛奶，独自呆一会儿。我刚想放松一下，就被二个孩子团团围住。他们站在那儿盯着我吃东西.我转向他们的父亲问:“我们还要不要遵守规定了?”
Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "
我们三岁的小孩说:“妈妈，还是坚持按规定做吧!”
Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"
我知道她不想去睡觉，就问:“玛丽莎，那么规定是怎么说的呢?”
"Share with one another,"she replied.
“有福同享。”她回答说。
英语幽默搞笑小故事篇三
纹身
A few months after Tom and I were married一during World War II, he was shipped off to Pearl Harbor. In one of his first letters，he wrote，"I'm going to have a Navy battle-ship tattooed on my chest.”
二战中，汤姆和我刚结婚几个月，他就被派到珍珠港。在他早期的一封信中，他写道:“我想把海军战舰纹刻在胸前。”
Instead of pleading, I answered simply,“Send me a pitcture of your tattoo，and I'll have a duplicate put on my chest. "
我没有劝阻，只是简单地回了信:“给我寄一张你纹旁的照片来，然后我也在我的胸前仿纹一个。”
We have been married for 51 years. Neither of us has a tattoo.
我们现在已结婚51年了，谁也没纹过身。
英语幽默小故事5篇
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
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幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇1 The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇2 Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now.
Raymond is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street.
幽默简短的'英语小故事 篇3 Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“
"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇4 A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”
The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇5 One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle.
And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger.
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇6 A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.
"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"
"40," replies the dog.
"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"
"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇7 Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.
When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇8 A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and
burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same."
"Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded.
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇9 A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇10 The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tickets.”
About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.”
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇11 A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇12 Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇13 A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”
"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇14 Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇15 A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇16 The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”
The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”
英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
1.英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
小金鱼 I have nine little goldfish .Eight goldfish are all orange and one is black .I like the black one best. We call it Xiao Hei .Its body is black .It has two big and round eyes, a small mouth ,and a big tail. Though it's very small ,it swims fast . I often feed them and change water for them. We are good friends . 我有九条小金鱼。八条金鱼都是桔黄色的，只有一条是黑的。我最喜欢那条黑的。我们叫它小黑。它全身都是黑色的。它有两只又大又圆的眼睛，一张小嘴和一条大尾巴。尽管它非常小，但它却游得很快。我常常去喂它们，给它们换水。我们是好朋友。 2.英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
猫咪钓鱼A Cat Is Fishing A cat goes to a river every day. He wants to go fishing. But he can’t catch any fish. 一只猫每天去河边，他想去钓鱼，但是他去钓不到一条。 One day, he goes to the river as usual. Suddenly a fish comes out. He catches the fish. He is very happy. He forgets to put the fish in the basket. He dances and sings. He shouts, “I have a fish! I have a fish!” All his friends come to see him. 一天，他像往常一样去了河边。突然一条鱼浮出了水面。他捉到了那条鱼。他非常开心。他忘记把鱼放到篮子里去了。他又唱又跳，叫道：“我捉到一条鱼!我捉到一条鱼!”他所有的朋友都过来看。 “Where is your fish? Let us have a look at it. ” his friends say. “你的鱼在哪儿?让我们看一看。”他的朋友们说。 “It’s there, near the bank.” the cat answers. But he can’t find the fish. When he sings and dances, the fish jumps back into the river. “在那儿，河岸附近。”猫回答道。但是他找不到那条鱼。当他又唱又跳的时候，鱼跳回了河里。 3.英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
一枚硬币的旅程 One day, Dora’s mother gave her a coin, It was a bit dirty, so Dora washed it. Then it started talking to Dora. Today I talked to a coin, When it was made, it was nice and clean. People took the coin to a bank. It stayed there for a few days. A person at the bank gave the bank gave the coin to a man. My mother went to buy some cake from the man’s shop. The man gave the coin to her as part of her change. She dropped the coin. A street cleaner saw it and picked it up. He returned it to my mother. She gave it to me as pocket money. I washed the coin to make it clean again. 一天，多拉的母亲给了她一枚硬币。它有点儿脏，所以多拉把它洗了洗。听听这个硬币的英语故事。 今天我和一枚硬币谈话了，当它被铸造的时候，它很好看而且干净.人们把钱存到银行。它在那儿待几天.银行的人把这枚硬币给了一名男子。我的母亲从这名男子的商店里买一些蛋糕。这名男子将这枚硬币作为零钱的一部分找给她。她掉了这枚硬币。一位街道清洁工看到了并把它捡起来。他把她还给了我母亲。母亲把它当零花钱给我了，我洗了这枚硬币，让它再次变干净。 4.英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
执行指令 My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right. 我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。他们得到的地址只说沿着某条路一直走，当看到一头牛拴在蒸笆柱上时，就向右转。 While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered. 正当吉尔波特开车续续前进时，他看见一位农夫牵着一头牛沿路而来。他猜测这就是他要找的地方。他停下了车问那位农夫，他的牛刚才拴在什么地方。在吉尔波特向农夫说明了他为什么想知道这个问题的答案之后，那位农夫把牛牵回来，把它拴在柱子止，所有的货都运到了此地。 5.英语幽默小故事60字带翻译
母亲与教师 I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil." 我教初中的唱诗班，偶尔会教到自己的孩子。一天，我儿子问我是否能借给他一支铅笔。作为一位老师，我一般不借东西给那些不做课堂准备的学生。但作为一位母亲，我应随时帮助我的孩子。于是，我问儿子他是在跟老师说话，还是在跟母亲说话。而他却说:“那要看谁有铅笔了。”
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!
英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
幽默故事翻译：中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
幽默故事翻译：
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
幽默故事翻译：
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
幽默故事翻译：五个月大
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
英语幽默小故事5：West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
幽默故事翻译：
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."
"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
幽默故事翻译：森林之火
一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”
“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”
英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."
幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”
英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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英语幽默小故事7篇
若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.
我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。
After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.
过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.
麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”
趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”
英语幽默小故事2
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”
英语幽默小故事3
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”
英语幽默小故事4
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?
女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”
"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”
英语幽默小故事5
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.
压力太大
多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院，现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。
英语幽默小故事6
Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics
Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
Economists can supply it on demand .
You can talk about money without ever having to make any.
You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .
Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .
When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
学习经济学的九大理由
经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”
经济学家们能够做到有求必应。
你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。
你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。
米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。
站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。
假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。
伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。
喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。
英语幽默小故事7
Nobel Prize in Economics
Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.
(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)
诺贝尔经济学奖
两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。
或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。
(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)
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10个英语幽默故事
下面是我整理的10个经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默故事1.
When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the U.S.A., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?”
Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?”
“Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.”
英语幽默故事2.
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.
英语幽默故事3.
The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down.
“ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager
” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.”
英语幽默故事4.
Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive.
New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives.
L: No, that’s the inventor.
英语幽默故事5.
Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner.
M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim.
英语幽默故事6.
M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?
S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice.
英语幽默故事7.
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”
“ To be deaf,” replied the boy.”
“ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.
“ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
英语幽默故事8.
A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a copy. He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!”
英语幽默故事9.
Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?”
英语幽默故事10.
A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?”
“ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.”
“ Will this give me more time?”
“ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”
