本文目录一览：
- 1、较长的英语笑话带翻译精选
- 2、较长的英语笑话带翻译？
- 3、经典英语笑话加翻译精选 英语笑话100篇带翻译
- 4、英语笑话100篇+翻译
- 5、英语幽默长笑话带翻译
- 6、英语幽默长笑话带翻译
- 7、初中英语长笑话带翻译
- 8、英语笑话短文带翻译
- 9、[关于高中英文小笑话带翻译] 英文翻译不离不弃笑话
较长的英语笑话带翻译精选
民间笑话故事像神话小说等民间文学一样，是广大劳动人民在长期的生产劳动和与自然界作斗争的过程中，以口头形式创作和传承的文学体裁。我精心收集了较长的英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
较长的英语笑话带翻译篇1 A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hourago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
一个男人在热气球上，发现自己迷失了方向。他下降高度，下方有一个妇女。他又下降了一点，大声呼喊,"打扰下，你能帮个忙吗，一个小时以前我答应了一个朋友要和他见面，但现在我不知道我身处何地。”
妇女在下面回答，“你在一个热气球里，大约离地面三十英尺。你在北纬40-41度之间，西经59-60度之间。”
“你必定是个工程设计师，”气球上的男人说。
“我是，”女人回答。“你是怎么知道的?”
“是这样，”气球上的男人说“你告诉我的事在技术上都是正确的，但是我无法理解你的看法，事实是我依旧迷失。坦白说，到目前为止你没帮上我多少。”
下面的妇女回应道，“你一定是在管理部门工作。”
“我是，”气球上的男人回答，“这你是怎么知道的?”
“是啊，”妇女说，“你总是不知道你在哪里，也不知道你要去哪里。你的上升，是由于大量的热气。你对别人许下的承诺，你不知道如何履行，而且你还期望在你下面的人会解决你的问题。事实就是在我们见面之前，我们都在完全相同的立场上，可现在，不知怎么地，却成了我的错了。”
较长的英语笑话带翻译篇2 Dick was seven years old,and his sister,Catherine,was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour,and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,"Now here's a knife,Dick.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister,but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked."How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick.He thought about this for a few seconds.Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half,Catherine.".
迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁.一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服.
孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房.她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说：“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块.不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样.”
迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”
他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的.”
迪克说了一声“噢”.他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说：“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧.”
较长的英语笑话带翻译篇3 I work for 7up"!
我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
较长的英语笑话带翻译？
冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。下面是我带来的，欢迎阅读!
篇一
Two nuns were shopping and happened to be passing the beer store.
两个修女外出购物，路过一家啤酒店。
One asks the other if she would like a beer.
其中一个修女问另外一个要不要买点啤酒喝。
The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.
那个修女回答说她是想喝，但不太敢去买。
The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.
第一个修女说她会搞定，说罢拿起一提六瓶装的啤酒，来到收银台。
The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "The beer is used for washing our hair."
看到收银员的表情有点怪，第一个修女说，“我们买啤酒是用来洗头的。”
The cashier, without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer, saying. . .
收银员，眼皮都没有眨一下，把手伸进柜台下面，拿出一包椒盐饼干放到装啤酒的袋子里面，
"Here, don't forget the curlers."
说“嘿，卷发器可不能少!”
篇二
There was a guy in a bar, just looking at his drink.
一个男人坐在酒吧里，看着自己的酒发呆。
He stayed like that for half an hour.
他这个样子已经有半个小时了。
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up next to him,took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down.
这时，一个好惹事的卡车司机走到他旁边，从他手里一把抢过酒杯，把酒喝了个精光。
The poor man started crying.
可怜的男人大哭起来。
The truck driver said, "e on man, I was just joking.
卡车司机说，“拜托，哥们，我只是在和你开个玩笑。
Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying"
这样吧，我再给你买一杯，我实在受不了看着一个大男人哭。”
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life.
“不，不是那样的。今天是我这辈子最倒霉的日子。
First, I was late getting to my office.
首先，我上班迟到了，
My boss was outrageous, and fired me.
我的老板是个蛮横的家伙，他把我炒了。
When I left the building to go to my car, I found out it was stolen.
当我离开办公楼去取车时，发现我的车被偷了,
The police say they can do nothing.
警察却说他们对此无能为力。
I got a cab to return home,and when I left it,
于是我只好打车回家，下了车，
I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there.
我发现钱包和信用卡都落在了车上，
The cab driver just drove away.
但那个计程车司机已经把车开走了。
When I got home, I found my wife in bed with the gardener.
我回到家，发现我老婆和园丁正在床上鬼混。
I left home and came to this bar.
我离开家，来到这个酒吧。
And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life,you show up and drink my poison"
而现在，正当我考虑要结束我的生命，你出现了，还喝了我的毒酒。”
篇三
A New Mum took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.
一个年轻的妈妈头一回带着她的宝贝女儿到超市买东西，
She dressed her in pink from head to toe.
她把小宝贝从头到脚穿上粉红色的衣服。
At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases around her.
在商场，她把小女孩放在购物车里，把买来的东西都推在孩子周围。
At the checkout line a *** all boy and his mother were ahead of them.
在付款台前排队时，一个小男孩和他妈妈正好排在她们前面。
The child was crying and begging for some special treat.
那个小男孩在哭，看上去在向他妈要著什么东西，年轻的妈妈想，
He wants some candy or gumand his mother won't let him have any, she thought.
这个小孩一定是要糖果或是口香糖之类的玩意儿，而他妈妈又不给，所以才闹得这么厉害。
Then she heard his mother's reply.
然而就在这个时候，她听到男孩的妈妈一边回答说，
"No!"she said, looking in her direction.
“不行，”一边往她的方向看过来，
"You may not have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one"
“你今天不能买一个小妹妹了，那位女士把最后一个买走了!”
经典英语笑话加翻译精选 英语笑话100篇带翻译
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。我整理了经典英语笑话加翻译，欢迎阅读!
经典英语笑话加翻译篇一
The plural Form of "Child"
“孩子”的复数形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆：男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?
Tom: Twins.
汤姆：双胞胎。
经典英语笑话加翻译篇二
Compact Cars
I have heard onesad story of a hitchhiker who went into a shop and saw the sign"Lift" but found it too heavy, then saw the sign "PetSupplies" so he did, this wasn't too bad but then he went outside and sawthe sign "Compact Cars" and went to prison for ten years.
错误译文：
我曾听说过一个倒霉的故事，有一个搭车者，走进一家商店，看见Lift标签，想抢一个千斤顶，但千斤顶太重，所以没抢;看见PetSupplies标签，抢了一些宠物用品，不过宠物用品并不值几个钱，所以罪行并不严重;但当他走出商店时，看见CompactCars标签，他又抢了一辆小轿车，所以最后他被警察逮住，坐牢十年。
正确译文：
我曾听说过一个倒霉的故事，有一个搭车者，走进一家商店，看见一个标签上写着“举起来”，可是那个东西太重了;看见一个标签上写着“拍拍商品”，于是就拍了拍，这也没什么;但当他走出商店时，又看见一个标签，上面写着“砸汽车”，结果被判坐牢十年。
经典英语笑话加翻译篇三
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with herred horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married yoursister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
英语笑话100篇+翻译
http://www.yyxh.org.cn/
这里的英语笑话都有译文!
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
英语笑话（八）Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪一位女人？
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
英语笑话（十）One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
回答者：lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08
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其他回答共 2 条
Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses．
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness．
“There are not！” snapped the lawyer．
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？”
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。
“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/36572219.html?si=1
英语幽默长笑话带翻译
1.They
are
all
dead
他们都死了
Teacher:
Can
you
tell
me
anything
about
the
great
scientists
of
the
18th
century?
老师：你能告诉我一些关于18世纪那些伟大科学家们的事情吗？
Student:
Yes,
sir,
I
can.
They
are
all
dead.
学生：能，老师。他们都死了。
2.I
can’t
see
you
off
我不能送你了
A
guest
said
to
the
host's
l
英语幽默长笑话带翻译
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
1.They are all dead 他们都死了 Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century? 老师：你能告诉我一些关于18世纪那些伟大科学家们的事情吗？ Student: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead. 学生：能，老师。他们都死了。 2.I can’t see you off 我不能送你了 A guest said to the host's l
1.How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
2.Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
3.Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
4.Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
扩展资料笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。
2008年6月7日，笑话经国务院批准列入第二批国家级非物质文化遗产名录。
参考资料笑话＿百度百科
初中英语长笑话带翻译
初中英语长笑话带翻译
笑话是幽默的一种表现形式,通过阐述语用因素对英语笑话言语的作用机制,可以探索英语幽默话语的语用特征和动态运行模式,帮助人们从认知角度和心理推理机制上更好地了解笑话幽默的产生方式。我精心收集了初中英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
初中英语小笑话带翻译篇1 The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are thebest at apprehending criminals.
洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局，都想要证明他们最会逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
于是总统决定要考考他们。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一只兔子放进森林，而他们每一个人都必须去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情报局的人进去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他们在整个森林里放置了动物通报器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他们质问所有的 植物和矿物证人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三个月的密集调查之后，他们得到的结论就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes in.After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
联邦调查局韵人进去了。就在两个星期都没有线索之后，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他们放火把森林烧了，杀光了里面的一切，包括这只，兔子在内 ，而且他们并没有表现出歉意。
The LAPD goes in.They come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉矾警察局的人进去了。两个小时之后，他们带着一只惨遭严重殴打的'熊出来。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
这只熊大声地喊着说：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
初中英语小笑话带翻译篇2 A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他点餐时说：“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it,like our midnight Special."
"菜单上没有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我们的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什么?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle andmayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三层，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、 洋葱、腌泡菜，还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it tome on a plate?"
"你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉，装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，当然可以。啦!”接着他就转向制作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet Special.Make it one deck,hold thetongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin breadwhite,untoasted!"
大声喊出：“一个午夜特餐。把它做一层就好，里面不要加牛着、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”
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英语笑话短文带翻译
关于英语笑话短文带翻译
有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面我为你带来关于英语笑话短文带翻译，希望你会喜欢。
关于英语笑话短文带翻译一：Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们?
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办?
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛!
关于英语笑话对话篇四
顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了!
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
关于英语笑话短文带翻译二：两只蟑螂 Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. CopyRight yingyuzhijia.com
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍，英语免费学习网站，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
关于英语笑话短文带翻译三： George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗? ”
“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的'足球可以出来玩吗?
关于英语笑话短文带翻译四：死后重生Life After Death Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. CopyRight yingyuzhijia.com
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you. 内容来自 Yingyuzhijia.com
中文翻译：
“你相信人死后仍有生命吗?”老板问他的一个员工。
“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。
“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，” 老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。”
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[关于高中英文小笑话带翻译] 英文翻译不离不弃笑话
一篇好的笑话,总是以短小的篇幅、精炼的语言、讽刺的手法,表达一个引人发笑的故事,在笑中寓有深义,发人深思,促人战斗,使人猛醒。我整理了关于高中英文小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇一
Little Amy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you upto there, Amy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Amy tearfully, without lookingup, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Amy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
金鱼
小艾米在她家的花园里往一个坑里填土，她的邻居从花园的篱笆外面看到了。对这个面色沮丧小女孩的行动感兴趣，他礼貌地问道：“艾米，你在这儿做什么?”
“我的金鱼死了，”艾米头也未抬，泪眼汪汪地说：“我刚把他埋葬了。”
他的邻居关心地问：“对金鱼来说，这个洞是不是太大了?”
艾米拍了拍最后一撮土，然后回答道：“因为金鱼在你的猫肚子里面。”
关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇二
Like a good father, I took my 4-year old daughter to a so-called "rug concert" at her musicschool one Saturday morning, called that because you sit on the rug in a group and singsongs. We sat beside a young, attractive mother and her son, and I struck up a friendlyconversation with the mother during the concert. I thought I was in trouble when, as soon aswe got home, my daughter burst through the front door and announced to my wife that"Daddy met a Mommy."
哎，孩子
作为一个好父亲，我在星期六的早晨带四岁的女儿到她的学校参加一个所谓的“地毯音乐会”。叫这么个名字是因为我们分成小组坐在地毯上然后唱歌。我坐在一个年轻、有魅力的母亲和她儿子身边。在音乐会中我和这个母亲开始了友好的谈话。当我们回家后，我认为我有麻烦了。女儿推开前门，对我妻子宣布：“爸爸遇到了一个妈妈。”
关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇三
Mother: I sent my little boy for two pounds of plums and you gave him a pound and a half.
Shopkeeper: My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your little boy?
两磅李子
母亲：我让我的小儿子来买二磅李子，可你只给了他一磅半。
店主：我的秤准确无误，太太。可是你称过你的小儿子了吗?
关于高中英文小笑话带翻译篇四
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is onlyone piece left. Can you explain that?
Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.
我没有看到它
母亲：约翰尼，今天早上我在食品橱里放了两块蛋糕，现在只剩下一块了，你说是怎么回事?
约翰尼：哦，我想是因为里面太黑，我没有看见另一块。
